The Narcissist You Know Summary
3 min read ⌚
Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me Age
Narcissists are all around you, and they are more dangerous than you think. Find out what made “The Narcissist You Know” and work around every day, and how you can defend yourself.
About Joseph Burgo
Joseph Burgo is a writer, psychoanalyst and psychotherapist.
“The Narcissist You Know Summary”
Nowadays, you can hear the talk about narcissism all over the place.
The changes that social media brought to the world, like take for example the selfie, have made narcissism seem normal.
People use this word in everyday conversations as something trivial.
The reality, however, is very different.
Narcissism is a dangerous tendency that all of us carry around.
There are times when we lack empathy toward other people and acted selfish and self-absorbed.
It is normal to sometimes experience such moments, but there are some people out there that are consistently acting this way.
Some of them are even dangerous.
You may be surprised to find out that there is even a psychiatric disorder called NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 1% of the world’s population suffer from it and are pathological narcissists.
This kind of narcissists does severe crimes like rape and murder.
Another 4% of the population qualifies as Extreme Narcissists. However, these people pass under the radar, since they do not fit the definition of NPD.
Yet, they are dangerous as well, and the fact that they remain unnoticed increases the possibility of harm even more.
No, they do not usually commit many crimes like people with NPD do, but they use manipulative techniques to maintain the image of superiority.
Not only highly successful people and especially celebrities are Extreme Narcissists. In fact, the possibilities of you knowing such a person yourself are quite high…
… which takes us to the next conclusion: it is essential to understand how to identify that you are dealing with an Extreme Narcissist, so you know how to act appropriately to protect yourself.
But if these people do not do any life-endangering crimes, why are we talking about protection?
Because hanging around narcissists can bring out the narcissistic tendencies of other people as well.
Key Lessons from “The Narcissist You Know”
1. The Narcissists’ Drive
2. The Types of Negligent Parents
3. Types of Extreme Narcissists
The Narcissists’ Drive
Narcissists are actually driven by their fear of being losers. In other words, they try to steer away from feeling shame.
One kind of a shame that defines them is core shame, which appears when there is something wrong in the relationship between children and their parents.
The Types of Negligent Parents
Two types of negligent parents exist the overindulgent type, who have good intentions but do not know the way they should go about caring for their children and the narcissistic type of parents who simply do not care.
Types of Extreme Narcissists
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- Bullying narcissists
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- Seductive narcissists
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- Grandiose Narcissists
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- Know-it-all narcissists
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- Self-Righteous Narcissists
- Vindictive Narcissists
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“The Narcissist You Know” Quotes
Because their shame is so much deeper and more agonizing, Extreme Narcissists will stop at nothing to avoid feeling it. In fact, almost everything they say and do is intended to avoid the experience of shame. Click To Tweet The narcissistic defenses they mobilize against shame are so extreme and pervasive that they color everything about the person’s personality, relationships, and behavior, creating a kind of shell or armor against the threat of shame. Click To Tweet Narcissistic Parents often enlist other family members on their side, causing rifts and building alliances against a “bad” child. In other words, they may bully their own children. Click To Tweet The victims of parenting bullying often describe themselves as a “scapegoat,” held accountable for all the family troubles. Click To Tweet Narcissistic Parents tell blatant lies, too, painting themselves as victims and their children as heartless ingrates. Click To Tweet
