8 min read ⌚ 

What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

We are all concerned about our performance as husbands, wives, workers, and even lovers.

To get the most out of someone is to make him/her aware of its urges. Steve Harvey implores people to accept the nature of the bond-building process and act accordingly.

No need to fight the current, just beware of veering off course.

Who Should Read “Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man”? And Why?

Are the ladies ready for the next big thing? This book was funny in one way but educational and inspirational in a totally different one.

In our humble opinion, anyone who struggles with relationships and wants to understand the core of men’s behavior should read “Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man.”

About Steve Harvey

Steve Harvey is a TV-icon, comedian, author, and a radio personality. His charisma and joke-telling have brought him to the top with regards to comedy.

He continues to rock the showbiz world with his astonishing performances.

“Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man PDF Summary”

The book is subdivided into 3 main parts, all of which have a critical overview of men’s behavior and why they do some things. Steve Harvey, a comedian by profession, uses its humor, prejudices, facts and personal experience to portray men as accurately as possible.

Well, let’s roll, shall we?

Part One: The Mind-set of a Man

Truthfully, men are often upbraided for their lack of empathy and castigated for their aggressive approach, but are these claims essentially true? Let’s see what Steve thinks about it. He is one of those people who hate to beat around the bush and gives it to you straight!

The author starts by explaining the simplicity of men, as he believes this vantage point will give you the edge to absorb what’s coming. In other words, if you can latch onto to this, you may be able to get a bird’s eye view of the traits which describe men as they are:

• Who they are
• What they do
• How much they make

According to Steve, if a man hasn’t fulfilled his longings based on these 3 questions, he’ll continue casting doubt on his worthiness. Just marinate on that for a minute and realize that boys are taught to push through life, not allow to be cast aside, and to accept their role.

For some, this burden is way overwhelming. This struggle lingers on even when a teenager enters its mid-20s. He takes into account his own life-trajectory – Steve, as a college dropout, found himself in a difficult predicament in his 20s.

Laid off by Ford, little money, and even fewer opportunities around him. One night, a woman for whom he used to write jokes, invited him to a local comedian club. Hesitant at first, he plucked up his courage and went.

The crowd loved him, and he earned 50$ which in today’s money don’t seem like much, but back then especially when you are broke – I am sure is a wonderful feeling.

In general, when men are not going after their dreams, they begin to dry out and lose confidence.

In this chapter, Steve doesn’t miss a chance to elevate woman’s love and support. Nonetheless, he calls into question women’s expectations regarding the kind of love they prefer to receive. In this regard, men are more direct with their expression of feelings.

A man who truly loves you is not going to call you at 6.00 pm to tell you that he loves you more than at 5:30 pm. When a man loves dearly, he is not afraid to show everyone who you are and that he is prepared to defend this bond till kingdom comes.  

The  21st century thought drives women to act, think and be independent. However, when a man cannot make enough money to provide for his family, raise them and give them everything they deserve due to X-factors, his confidence starts shaking.

To this extent, Steve points out that men can provide more than just financial comfort, and take care of its loved-ones in an emotional way.

However, when he fails to satisfy the social norms, the feeling of dejection starts to take over. In addition, Steve mentions the three things all men need:

• Love
• Support
• Cookie – in other words – Sex

Part Two: Why Men Do What They Do

Whether we like it or not, sometimes generalization is the best evaluation tool we have at our disposal. Steve Harvey, from his own life experience, understood that women, unlike men, are okay with talking and sharing opinions for no particular reason or chit-chatting should you prefer.

Men, on the other hand, want to cut through the bull*hit and say whatever they want to say. True, some relationships are a fizzle and others last longer, but on a general basis, you determine the scope of it.

Men are as simple as one can be – you like someone, you start a conversation; if you don’t, you don’t even pretend to be interested in that person’s opinions, lifestyle, religion, etc.

If you try to bring in a philosophical touch to this unshakable truth, you’ll see that the world has always been like this. And it would take a heck of social engineering to flip it on the other side, and we don’t believe that would be a good thing.

The next time, a man comes along – don’t think that he is just being friendly and want to hear your latest daily backup story. In most cases, that man was drawn by your physical appearance, charisma, or elegance and he is unconsciously willing to take the next step.

There is nothing wrong with that; it’s just how it works.

Let’s take a hypothetical situation for example. You are a woman, sitting in a bar or a café with your friends, and a man asks for your name or wants to start a conversation.

How come he happened to bump into you and is curious but doesn’t share that enthusiasm for the other girls nearby?

Think about it; he is not interested in hearing your best friend’s story but yours! What does that tell you? He is not there for chit-chatting, nor willing to embroil in a political debate, but to impress you and eventually get something from you (hold your horses, it’s not sex).   

Now you know, and Steve Harvey didn’t mean to wipe out the mysteriousness of these first contacts, but to keep you abreast of the latest flirting trends. Remember girls; if you are not laying down the ground rules, you’ll sooner or later find yourself playing someone else’s.

In the next short section, Steve uses fishing as an example of the relationship men and women developed since the beginning of time. As all people know, a person can fish in two different way: Fun or so-called Sport-Fishing; and fishing to eat.

The story tells us that all men are natural hunters. In other words, they are on the lookout for prey, while women tend not to be too aggressive with regards to the extremes.

Just think about it – men invite women on a date (in most cases), men almost always make marriage proposals, and men ask for permission to take the girl out, etc.

However, what happens when the girl is attached to the hook – hypothetically speaking? Are we just doing sport-fishing, or we really plan to cook it (this sounds a bit harsh), but you get the symbolic meaning of it!?

Newsflash: it’s the woman who determines whether the guy is a sport-fisher or a keeper! And this is also true because a woman’s behavior dictates the men’s next steps – and the term “judgment” may seem too rude at one end of the line, but on the flip side, we all do it.

It’ not like you have a chance not to make decisions and form opinions on numerous topics. Even the ladies apt to judge another woman or man based on the vibe they evoke and attitude they nurture. It’s not rocket science to understand that all people are prone to go down this line.

Part Three: The PlayBook: How to Win the Game

The last intriguing part of this book is also the most comprehensible. We’ll try to boil it down as much as possible and share the key takeaways.

Here, Steve lays out 5 questions that every woman should ask herself prior to deciding to take the relationship on to the next level:

• What are your short-term goals?
• What are your long-term goals?
• What are your views on relationships?
• What do you think about me?
• How do you feel about me?

When it comes to men, don’t feel like you are not obliged to answer them as well. A real and caring man will answer these questions as well, for the well-being of the potential partner.

Consciously or unconsciously our minds are hatching plans for every matter under the blue sky that at least for a second takes hold of your attention.

In the next brief section, the author critically addresses the process of increasing your value. In 1977, Steve recalls being on the verge of bankruptcy and how he managed to lift his spirits.

He was all whipped up when the Ford Management announced that if he in the next 90 days proves to be a valuable asset to the organization, they’ll provide him with all sorts of benefits.

The bottom line is – this process is pretty much the same regardless of the profession. Eagerness and hunger for learning can be your ticket out of misery. He expands on the importance of earning these benefits rather than having them bestowed upon you.

From top to bottom, this book is a great manual for nurturing relationships and understanding one another in a humorous but profound fashion.

Key Lessons from “Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man”

1.      Adjust your thinking
2.      Make strides towards the truth
3.      Say no to ignorance

Adjust your thinking

Your mindset can be your best friend or your worst enemy; it’s up to you. Don’t sit on the fence, and adjust your thinking mechanism to help you understand men and women.

It will give you the upper hand in any situation that may befall you.

Make strides towards the truth

People love to sit on the safe side and never get out of their comfort zone. This book has some controversies in it, but that doesn’t detract from its quality and straightforward narrative.

Make no bargain with irrationality!

Say no to ignorance

Well, this is the hard one! To change something, you must know that the thing you’ve been doing is in need of alteration.

You can’t just magically turn the switch on and make everything work in your favor.

First, question your habits, your perspective, and understand the simplicity on one end and the complexity of the other in order to build an emotional connection with someone.

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“Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man Quotes”

Our Critical Review

Despite the comic prowess, Steve sure knows a lot about how people interact with each other.

We find most things to be 100% accurate, while others a bit controversial for some social groups.

Anyway, it will be a great addition on your bookshelf or Kindle Account!

Emir Zecovic

Emir is the Head of Marketing at 12min. In his spare time, he loves to meditate and play soccer.