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How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Can we really afford to be vulnerable?
According to Brené Brown, the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller – Daring Greatly – the answer is ‘YES’.
You may also ask: Can I REALLY allow myself to be a target practice?
Here’s our first error: associating vulnerability with weakness. In this life-changing book (Yes. I REALLY wrote ‘life-changing’.
And I mean it!), your perspective about the repercussions of human interaction will change, along with your past and present internal monolog.
We live in a world that teaches us that vulnerability is terrible, that it can make other people stomp on you, and hold you back from prosperity.
“Daring Greatly” is a book that tackles the exact opposite. It addresses vulnerability and why it takes great strength and courage to let yourself be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable shows that you are strong. You do not believe us yet?
Read on and let us convince you in this premise.
BEYOND CLICHES / DARING GREATLY
Daring greatly means finding our own path and respecting what that search looks like for other folks.
Who Should Read “Daring Greatly”? and Why?
Best-selling author Brené Brown writes down her research on the power of vulnerability.
She gives the readers a readable and understandable workbook that everyone can use to embrace a new mindset, which will improve their life. “Daring Greatly” can be summed up in a magazine article, but she extends the subject by offering exercises to develop openness.
Her insight is especially useful when the topic of discussion is trauma recovering and escaping a victim mentality.
We recommend this guide for readers that feel emotionally closed and stuck in the feeling of shame.
About Brené Brown
Brené Brown is a bestselling author and a research professor at the University of Houston. Her TEDXHouston Talk is one of the videos with the highest number of views on TED.com.
In brief, Brené Brown is one of those people who dare and builds her own road through dedication, curiosity, and strength.
“Daring Greatly Summary”
For me, it was an unnerving journey but… Hang in there! You’ll discover knowledge that’s worth it. As a side note remember that:
The fear of being vulnerable can unleash cruelty, criticism, and cynicism in all of us.
The volume – Daring Greatly – is structured in 7 chapters which contain the results of the research conducted by Brené on the quest of daring greatly.
Also, you’ll notice how the data coincides with Brown’s real-life experiences.
As humans we are wired to feel the need for connection, belonging and love.
However, at the same time, we fear rejection and always question if we are good enough. This makes us hide our shortcomings and try to appear strong. As a result, we disconnect with the community, our family, and even our work.
Dr. Brown bases her book on 12 years of research and explains the concept of vulnerability and how we can change our experiences accordingly.
According to her, vulnerability is neither bad nor good so that we can use a little of it in our lives. Conversely to popular belief, embracing it means being courageous. In fact, all positive emotions like trust, love and courage flow from it.
Additionally, she applies her theory of narcissistic behavior. She finds that people act in different ways based on their fear and shame of being ordinary. That guilt is at the core of narcissism. She states that it is hard to think that people recognize your uniqueness, and that is the reason why so many people care about, for example, the number of followers on social media.
Furthermore, she writes about the triggers of shame. She also gets into detail of the different ways men and women experience and react to shame.
All things considered, it is harmful if you measure yourself against other people. You should not let your sense of self-worth depend upon the reception of your work or the way other people see you.
The main idea of the volume is about daring greatly. Being vulnerable and having the courage to go right through whatever life throws at you.
This way you’ll get to know yourself more. Also, you’ll gain precious awareness which will help you stand tall in the face of adversity.
The main concepts of Daring Greatly are:
- Shame resilience
Are you already half-way googling them?
There’s no need. Let me introduce you to the terminology.
Scarcity means never feeling safe, certain, and sure enough. It nurtures shame, comparison, and disengagement between each and every one of us.
We’ve all been there once or twice.
Haven’t you? Well…
Just read the book and you’ll reconsider your negative response.
A vulnerability is an incentive for courage, compassion, and connection. And just keep in mind that:
We spend enormous energy trying to dodge vulnerability when it would take far less effort to face it straight on.
Shame resilience aims to chase away the negative experience of shame. Here are the 4 elements of this concept:
- Recognizing Shame and Understanding Its Triggers.
- Practicing Critical Awareness.
- Reaching Out.
- Speaking of Shame.
Worthiness represents the state of mind of knowing that you’re enough. I think that most of us can agree that:
Our stories of worthiness—of being enough—begin in our first families.
Wholeheartedness is vulnerability and worthiness. It’s about facing exposure, uncertainty, and emotional risks. It’s about belonging without needing armors and masks. I consider it the Holy Grail of life itself.
Are you ready to dare greatly? Are you courageous enough?
- To be uncomfortable and to accept the discomfort as a part of growth,
- To embrace your own vulnerability,
- To spend less time and energy hustling for the attention of people that don’t matter,
- To be able to listen with an open heart and an open mind,
- To take risks and to brave uncertainty,
- To experience compassion and connection.
These are just a couple of actionable things that can be applied in your own life.
Key Lessons from “Daring Greatly”
1. A vulnerability is an indication of strength, not weakness
2. Face your shame to make it disappear
3. Become a role model for your children
A vulnerability is an indication of strength, not weakness
First of all, vulnerability is not black or white. In other words, it just is and makes you able to feel things. Moreover, feelings are what makes you feel alive.
Second, allowing yourself to be vulnerable indicates strength. It may be easier to avoid all the things that make you look and feel vulnerable, but by doing that, you also miss out on a lot of good experiences.
Face your shame to make it disappear
There is a thing that is worse than completely bombing your work. What is that?
Being afraid that it will happen again and let that fear stop you from doing similar work again.
That fear connects with the feeling of shame. Although no one wants to talk about it, the less you acknowledge it, the more power it holds over you.
So, face it and address it directly.
Once you do, you will notice that is slowly starting to disappear.
Become a role model for your children
Even if you do not have children right now, take this lesson away.
The children in your life can only act in ways you do. So, make sure you clean your family from shame and let your children grow in a loving and warm environment.
Do not only talk about values such as ambition, courage, and honesty.
Be all of those things you talk about. Be a role model.
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“Daring Greatly” Quotes
Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful… Click To Tweet
When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose. Click To Tweet
Our Critical Review
We hope that you’re capable enough to admit your struggles and to free yourself from preconceptions, chit-chat, and other toxic elements that invade your existence.
The book Daring Greatly by Brené Brown has the power to rebuild your heart and soul.
You’ll embark on a journey that comes from a standpoint of humanity and honesty which will topple your past and redesign your future.
This book is written in a conversational style, that gives away that it is a subject that she could discuss in an article-length text.
Furthermore, Brown fills it with lists and outlines of her research. A mere presentation of the results would be much more readable.
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