Braving the Wilderness PDF Summary

Braving the Wilderness PDF SummaryThe Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

It’s Brené Brown once again!

Meaning: we don’t have to introduce her at all.

Ever since her TED Talk on vulnerability became one of the Top 5 Talks of all time, Brené Brown has basically become a cultural icon!

You know her, you love her, you want to hear her thoughts on everything.

So, join her as he shares her most valuable lessons on:

Braving the Wilderness.

Who Should Read “Braving the Wilderness”? And Why?

By now, you should be already familiar with most of Brené Brown’s interests: vulnerability and courage, humiliation and pride, belonging and being an outsider.

In Braving the Wilderness she tackles once again all of them, mostly focusing on the last one of these dichotomies.

And, just like most of her other books, this one also analyzes the problems in a way which should attract both students of social sciences and common folks who just need someone to talk to.

Well, hurting people, Brené Brown is certainly someone you’ll enjoy having a chat with.

About Brené Brown

Brené BrownBrené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston and New York Times bestselling author.

She has spent over two decades studying under-researched topics such as vulnerability and courage, empathy and shame, and is widely considered one of the world’s most read and beloved experts on these subjects.

She is the author of half a dozen books, most of which we’ve summarized here: I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) (2007); The Gifts of Imperfection (2010); Daring Greatly (2012); and Rising Strong (2015).

Braving the Wilderness was published last year (2017) and Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. – Brown’s most recent book – just four days ago.

Brown’s 2010 TED Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” has been seen over 36 million times (as of October 2018) and is one of the five most viewed TED Talks in history.

“Braving the Wilderness PDF Summary”

We all live in a bubble.

And no, we’re not talking about multiverses or Bitcoin or any other kind of scientific or economic bubble.

No.

We’re talking about something that, based on urgency, may be even more serious.

Namely, the filter bubble.

Put simply, the filter bubble is a state of intellectual isolation caused by personalized searches. They make your life easier, of course, but they also make humanity’s future bleaker.

Why?

Because instead of using the Internet to connect with other people with different experiences and worldviews, you are using it to reinforce your previous beliefs and disconnect from everything else!

The Internet was supposed to usher us into an age of interrelatedness; instead, it is merely making us lonelier by the minute.

Enter stage Brené Brown.

Brené Brown, the Outsider

You see her now all smiling and vivacious and you are immediately overwhelmed by the feeling that she has her life all figured out.

And then you hear her sharing some of her past experiences and you realize that she may have already had more problems than you ever will.

In fact, most of Brené Brown’s childhood was marred by a crushing fear that she doesn’t belong anywhere.

As a little girl, she was oftentimes marginalized by everybody. It was a poisonous racially segregated environment and the white girls at her school didn’t like her African-sounding names: Brené and Cassandra (Brown’s middle name); on the other hand, her African-American friends of hers were somewhat afraid to hang out with her.

So, she was neither here nor there for most of her childhood.

Thigs got only worse in high school where she badly wanted to become part of her school’s cheerleading team, the Bearkadettes. Just like her mother – who had met her father in this manner. (Stop guessing: her father was indeed the star of the football team).

Brown did everything within her power to become a member of the Bearkadettes; unfortunately, neither the liquid diet nor her perfect routine didn’t help her make it.

And to top this off, her parents were disappointed in her for not making it to the team.

To fight pains such as this, Brené started to drink. So much, in fact, that she had to join the AA.

Guess what?

They didn’t want her there either, suggesting her to try the Co-Dependents Anonymous group instead!

Brené Brown Discovering Herself

Most of the people you know have gone through what Brené Brown did in her early years.

And it always boils down to the same problem:

We put a lot of energy to belong to something; read between the lines and that means that you are, in fact, putting a lot of energy to be something that, deep inside, you are not.

Back in 1987 Brené Brown was at one of the worst stages in her life. She spent most of her time drinking and smoking, partying even when she had no energy for it.

That was her way of forgetting about herself.

And then she met Steve, the man she would eventually marry.

The best part about Steve?

He saw through Brené’s attempts to belong somewhere; and started guiding her toward self-belonging. Three decades later Brown would explain to the world how she managed to do this, as a guest on Oprah.

Namely, permission slips.

Suddenly, next to Steve, Brené realized that she could permit herself to be the person she actually was. No conventions, no exhausting liquid diets you need to go through so that you can be accepted.

Just herself.

In fact, her fist permission slip stated: “Be goofy, have fun and enjoy life.”

And she has tried doing that ever since.

Brave the Wilderness Inside You

You are such a unique individual that no one has ever lived a life like the one you’re currently living.

That’s as close to a fact as an opinion can get.

So, it’s only natural that conventional wisdom may not work: your own self is a one-of-a-kind wilderness.

Whatever you do – treat it as such.

Of course, this means that your path through it is also unique and that you need to find it on your own. But, believe us – you will!

Because, deep down inside you, you actually know that walking inside it is what life is all about. “If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step,” advised Joseph Campbell, “you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”

And Campbell was one of the smartest and most inspiring people of the 20th century.

So:

Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.

Key Lessons from “Braving the Wilderness”

1.      The First Lesson of Self-Belonging: Brave the Wilderness Inside You
2.      The Seven Traits of Trustworthy People
3.      Tackling Loneliness and Ways to Burst the Bubble

The First Lesson of Self-Belonging: Brave the Wilderness Inside You

There’s a reason why everybody wants to belong to someone or something.

And that reason is quite obvious: it’s quite difficult to go through life alone. Men are social beings – and that’s exactly what Aristotle thought was their defining trait.

However, it is difficult to belong somewhere if you don’t know who you are. In that case, all of your attempts to become part of a group are actually wild guesses, shots in the dark. “Be careful who you pretend to be,” warned us once Kurt Vonnegut. “You might forget who you are.”

Well, Brené Brown is here to update this advice.

The best way to forget who you are, she says, is to never understand yourself completely in the first place.

And if you want to do that, be prepared to make some steps in the wilderness:

Belonging so fully to yourself that you’re willing to stand alone is a wilderness — an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can’t control it, or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it’s the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand.

Look at it this way: nobody belongs to this place more than you.

Even if a wilderness, your self is a very unique place: your very own, personal Shangri-La.

And nobody can explore it better than you!

The Seven Traits of Trustworthy People

Self-belonging is not as easy as it sounds.

It means making yourself open to your traumas and pains and vulnerable to other people’s opinions and judgments.

But it’s worth it!

Especially if you can find trustworthy people you can talk to, dependable friends ready to listen to your

According to Brené Brown, these people share these seven traits:

1. They are reliable, which is self-evident;
2. They own their mistakes which is something people rarely do nowadays;
3. They are capable of respecting boundaries, meaning they know that they should leave you alone when you want to be alone, even if that means going to the cinema without company;
4. They are capable of keeping confidential information safe; so, be wary of people who can’t keep your secrets because the betrayal of trust is one of the most traumatic experiences one can go through;
5. They are capable of making decisions with integrity; integrity is underrated in a world of lies and money;
6. They are non-judgmental; they know that we all make mistakes and that pointing them out repeatedly helps no one;
7. They are generous; with everything; meaning: with them, you’re never the only one who shares.

Tackling Loneliness and Ways to Burst the Bubble

If you’re feeling that people are too divided, then be aware that it’s not exactly a feeling: it’s a fact.

For example, only a quarter of Americans supported a specific candidate overwhelmingly back in 1976; however, just a few years ago, more than four fifths were either strongly for Trump or strongly for Hillary Clinton! And, in the meantime, the number of people who describe themselves as lonely more than doubled!

We explained at the beginning of our summary why this is happening. The same mechanism applies to both examples. Put simply, we live in a world designed to keep us inside a bubble.

We don’t experience anything out of our comfort zone, because it’s so easy to stay inside it: personalized ads, personalized searches, and even personalized channels.

The solution spells itself: do the opposite of what Google or YouTube or your inside voice suggests you! Experiment! Experience the difference! And see for yourself whatever suits you best.

At a certain point during your journey, you’ll undoubtedly come across a place, a person, a point where it will all make sense.

Congratulations: you’ve found your way through your inner wilderness.

Now you belong to yourself.

The side-effect?

You already belong to others as well.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Braving the Wilderness Quotes”

You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great. Click To Tweet But what we know now is that when we deny our emotion, it owns us. When we own our emotion, we can rebuild and find our way through the pain. Click To Tweet Sometimes the most dangerous thing for kids is the silence that allows them to construct their own stories—stories that almost always cast them as alone and unworthy of love and belonging. Click To Tweet Courage is forged in pain, but not in all pain. Pain that is denied or ignored becomes fear or hate. Click To Tweet We want to be part of something, but we need it to be real - not conditional or fake or constantly up for negotiation. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

“It is inevitable —we will fall,” notes Simon Sinek in a review of Braving the Wilderness. “We will fail. We will not know how to react or what to do. No matter how or when it happens, we will all have a choice—do we get up or not? Thankfully,” he adds, “Brené Brown is there with an outstretched arm to help us up.”

Just like most of Brown’s books, Braving the Wilderness does feel as if an outstretched arm. It is both compassionate and empowering. Add to that mixture a lot of goodhearted humor and few mantras you’ll never forget – and you have a reason why you should read this book as soon as possible.

Especially if you feel like nobody understands you.

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself PDF Summary

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself PDF SummaryHow to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One

Tired of being yourself?

What if there was a way to reinvent yourself from scratch?

And what if you already know this way intuitively, and have already mastered it, but in the wrong departments?

Intrigued?

Let Dr. Joe Dispenza explain you the rest.

And start Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself today!

Who Should Read “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”? And Why?

Let’s face it: no matter who you are, your life has almost certainly been plagued by bad habits ever since you were a child. And since this is a book about how to break them – then it is undoubtedly a book recommendable to just about anyone.

However, we feel that we need to warn you straight from the start about a couple of things.

First of all, Dispenza’s book references many scientific concepts from different fields, so be prepared to grapple with some light neurobiology and quantum physics if you want to embark on this journey of self-remodeling with Dr. Dispenza.

Even so, Dispenza’s basic premise (the reversal of the thinking/doing relation) is not exactly widely accepted as a scientific fact. Which doesn’t necessarily mean that his methods wouldn’t work; it merely means that they might have been explained away here in a challengeable way.

By the way, if you want a book about habits most scientists approve of, then check out Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit.

About Dr. Joe Dispenza

Dr. Joe DispenzaDr. Joe Dispenza is a chiropractor, educator, lecturer and New York Times bestselling author. He also holds degrees in biochemistry and neuroscience.

He is the author of several books dealing with health and wellbeing, most of them published by Hay House. In his 2014 book, You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, he explores human’s ability to heal without surgery or drugs but through thought alone.

He builds upon this notion in Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One, Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind and Becoming Supernatural.

Find out more at www.drjoedispenza.com

“Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself PDF Summary”

At one point during their beautiful correspondence, René Descartes writes to Elisabeth, Princess of Bohemia, that thinking people are capable of being unhappy regardless of how happy their circumstances actually are.

In other words, even if everything is going your way, your mind can still bother with things such as why someone else – even someone you don’t really know – is feeling bad at the same moment; and, thus, still cause you genuinely pain and unhappiness.

Even though the above is an undeniable fact – we’re sure you’ve gone through similar feelings at some point in your life – we seem incapable of grasping its real implications.

Namely, if your brain can make you feel unhappy even though you should objectively be happy, why shouldn’t the reverse be true as well?

Or to rephrase that in the form of a question Dr. Joe Dispenza poses: “Can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you don’t need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?”

If not – stay with us.

We’re about to explain to you why you should.

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life… Because of Quantum Physics

Yes, that’s the title of a Brian Tracy book.

But it’s also the main idea of Dispenza’s book. And the author digs deep to explain it. So, we guess we have to do the same as well.

Now, we’ve already mentioned quantum physics before, but the only thing we had the time to point out to you back then was how strange and bizarre it is. And we summed up this strangeness in a single sentence: “Believe it or not, quantum particles assume characteristics only when observed!”

Well, this is what attracted Dispenza’s attention the most. And the best way to demonstrate what it could mean in practical terms is by using a thought experiment.

The Schrödinger’s cat thought experiment.

Now, the science behind its weird consequences is unquestionable. And it boils down to this: a quantum system – say, an atom or a photon – can exist in multiple mutually exclusive states at one single moment. This is called quantum superposition, and it’s bizarre to even think about in theory.

And yet – it works in practice as well. That’s why we can have such a thing as a quantum computer, in fact; unlike regular computers which transfer information in terms of bits, quantum computers transfer it in terms of qubits. And unlike bits which can be either in the state of 1 or in the state of 0, qubits can be in a superimposed state, that is, a 10 or 01!

Back to our cat.

If we put it in a box with an object that emits radioactive waves, undoubtedly at some point it would die. However, quantum physics suggest that until we open the box, we must assume that it is both alive and dead.

Because the cat too is built of atoms. And that’s how quantum superposition works!

The Potential You’ll Be That You’ll Never See

Now, that’s a line from an Elliott Smith song.

But it’s also something Dispenza firmly believes in – and wants you to understand it!

If you still have problems understanding the experiment above, allow us to help you a bit: matter may not be as definitive as we thought a century ago. It seems that everything behaves as both a particle and a wave.

It is our scientific observations which allow us to fix things into more permanent forms – i.e., change their state from waves to particles (something called, the wave function collapse). As strange as this sounds, most scientists think this interpretation of quantum mechanics – called the Copenhagen Interpretation – is our best guess at how the universe works.

If you think that’s strange, wait till you hear how SF its consequences sound!

We don’t have time to explain this in detail, but in brief: if something can be in superposition of all its possible states at once and if it is our observation which reduces the superposition to a single state, and, finally, if it is true that information mustn’t be lost, then there is an infinite number of parallel universes (a many-worlds multiverse) across which practically everything has already happened, is happening or will happen!

What does this mean in more practical you-related terms?

Well, that our universe hides the potential of every single reality imaginable. It is through our observations that we reduce this potential to a single reality. And since our observations come from our brains, then basically our unhappiness is the product of our wrong thinking.

Change your thinking, change your life isn’t merely a metaphor.

It’s literally what may be happening every single second.

Live Out Your Desires in the Present

“Whether you think you can,” noted Henry Ford once, “or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

We believe we already made a case why Ford would think that.

Some of the greatest scientists alive believe that it is entirely possible that we are living in a “universal choose-your-own-adventure” narrative!

The difference between our lives and choose-your-own-adventure books, however, is that in the latter case, you can always go back to the branching page and choose once again to experience the other adventure.

However, life doesn’t work that way: every choice you make leads to an irreversible outcome which leads to another decision, and so on and so forth.

There are no undos in life.

However, as many books have taught you by now, there are dreams and fantasies and creative visualizations.

Well, Dispenza has a message for them all:

The quantum field responds not to what we want; it responds to who we are being.

In other words, thinking isn’t enough. (If it was, Rachel Hollis would have probably married Matt Damon.)

Thinking is merely the starting point of the process of reducing all of your possible realities to the one you want to live in. However, if you want to make your desired reality real, well, do precisely that. Namely start acting as if you are already living inside your visualizations.

But that’s something biology and neuroscience can probably explain much better.

Your Three Brains

Thinking happens in the first of your three brains: the Neocortex. The Limbic brain is the second one – that one’s responsible for your emotions. Finally, the third one is the cerebellum, responsible for your habits and your behaviors.

These three brains are interrelated, so you can’t change anything if you use only one of them. You need to force them to communicate so you can translate your thoughts into genuine emotions and actions and your actions into your character.

Here’s how it works in practice!

Say you want to become a more courageous person.

The first step is to activate your neocortex. Meaning: you need to find yourself a model – or, even better, models – and study their actions. You want to be a Maya Angelou or a Winston Churchill? Read about them and teach your neocortex what they did to become who they are.

Then, it’s time to put your Limbic brain into action. When a situation arises which demands bravery, willingly force your body to act the way you tried teaching yourself is the best one.

Now that your body has acquired an understanding of bravery, it will be easy to repeat the action you’ve already done once in the next similar circumstance. After all, they don’t say for nothing that the first time is the toughest.

Do a thing two or three times, and you can be sure that your cerebellum has registered it as a part of your character.

Meaning: you’ve successfully gone through the process of becoming who you want to be!

Key Lessons from “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”

1.      Become Who You Want to Be – From Brain Cell to Gene
2.      Don’t Play Out Your Past Memories – Live Through Your Future Fantasies Instead
3.      Learn How to Bridge the Identity Gap and Be Happy

Become Who You Want to Be – From Brain Cell to Gene

“The latest research,” writes Dr. John Dispenza, “supports the notion that we have a natural ability to change the brain and body by thought alone so that it looks biologically like some future event has already happened. Because you can make thought more real than anything else, you can change who you are from brain cell to gene, given the right understanding.”

In other words, science has all but proven the truth of an old adage: “Watch your thoughts, they become words, watch your words, they become actions, watch your actions, they become habits, watch your habits, they become character, watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

You can find that quote in numerous different versions, but the link is always the same: it starts with thoughts; it ends with character and destiny!

Don’t Play Out Your Past Memories – Live Through Your Future Fantasies Instead

The reason why you are more than your genes is your brain; and, unsurprisingly, your brain can affect your genes.

In fact, it does precisely that even as you’re reading this article. However, the problem is that you are not exactly using its full potential, basically limiting yourself to being what your past has nonchalantly taught you without your intervention.

Think about it this way: you won’t change if you are living out your memories. Because that’s exactly who you are in the first place.

But you can change if you are living out your fantasies. Because that’s who you want to become in the future.

Or, in the words of Dispenza:

When you think from your past memories, you can only create past experiences. As all of the ‘knowns’ in your life cause your brain to think and feel in familiar ways, thus creating knowable outcomes, you continually reaffirm your life as you know it. And since your brain is equal to your environment, then each morning, your senses plug you into the same reality and initiate the same stream of consciousness… If you want a new outcome, you will have to break the habit of being yourself, and reinvent a new self.

Learn How to Bridge the Identity Gap and Be Happy

Now, be aware that becoming who you want to be doesn’t mean that you’ll end up being happy. There are people who have perfect lives and, yet, they struggle. According to Dispenza, the reason for this is because they are not exactly themselves.

Because who you are is at least two people to start with; how you see yourself and how others see you. This is the identity gap everyone has to deal with on a daily basis.

You can only be happy if you bridge the gap; that is, if others start seeing you the way you see yourself.

You can do that using some of the methods above.

Dispenza also offers a shortcut: meditation.

Because meditating, as he explains, is “a means for you to move beyond your analytical mind so that you can access your subconscious mind. That’s crucial, since the subconscious is where all your bad habits and behaviors that you want to change reside.”

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself Quotes”

A memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom. Click To Tweet We should never wait for science to give us permission to do the uncommon; if we do, then we are turning science into another religion. Click To Tweet Warning: when feelings become the means of thinking, or if we cannot think greater than how we feel, we can never change. To change is to think greater than how we feel. To change is to act greater than the familiar feelings of the… Click To Tweet Think of it this way: the input remains the same, so the output has to remain the same. How, then, can you ever create anything new? Click To Tweet The point is, true happiness has nothing to do with pleasure, because the reliance on feeling good from such intensely stimulating things only moves us further from real joy. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself is a unique way of linking your habits and your happiness with neuroscience and quantum physics. We are not experts enough to know how much of it actually holds water.

But we do know people who are happy with the results of putting in practice some of its advices. So, if you are like us: ignore the science; but try the exercises.

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Girl, Wash Your Face PDF Summary

Girl, Wash Your Face PDF SummaryStop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be

Ever felt like your self is constantly struggling against a vision of who you ought to be?

Tired of doing that?

Well, Rachel Hollis says: it’s time to get that dirt of other people’s lies off of you!

And it’s time for a total makeover:

Girl, Wash Your Face!

Who Should Read “Girl, Wash Your Face”? And Why?

The world of today is a merciless place.

Whether you are a single mom or a mother of two, an unmarried successful woman in your forties or a married twenty-year-old with no job – you are bound to be judged by those around you.

Why?

Merely because no one lives up to the standards of what being a happy woman means for the world. (That’s right – It’s the Anna Karenina Principle all over again!)

The only conclusion you can deduce from that: it’s not you, but the standards which don’t work.

And this is the main message Girl, Wash Your Face is trying to communicate.

That’s why it’s a necessary reading for all the women out there who feel as if they are battled to the ground on a daily basis by the perfect figures of beauty and success from the unrealistic movies of today.

If you need some inspiration to dream and an encouragement to turn those dreams into reality – then Rachel Hollis is your girl.

About Rachel Hollis

Rachel HollisRachel Hollis is the founder and recurrent blogger for TheChicSite.com, a motivational speaker, and #1 New York Times bestselling author.

A mother of four, Hollis is widely considered one of the world’s leading motivators for women, something which has earned her not only a place on Inc. Magazine’s “Top 30 Entrepreneurs under 30” but also the flattering moniker “Tony Robbins for women.”

“Deeply passionate about empowering women in business,” Hollis is famed for her high-energy style and for her ability to inspire and galvanize female audiences.

She is also the CCO of her own company, the Hollis Company, and the author of Girl, Wash Your Face which spent about more than four months on The New York Times bestseller list.

She is currently working on a sequel: Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals, to be published in March 2019.

“Girl, Wash Your Face PDF Summary”

“Man is the measure of all things,” uttered Protagoras about two and a half millennia ago, “of things which are, that they are, and of things which are not, that they are not.”

In its bare essence, Girl, Wash Your Face is a tell-it-all mediation upon this famous saying. Or, in other words, it is a book about “one great truth”:

You are in control of your own life. You get one and only one chance to live, and life is passing you by. Stop beating yourself up, and dang it, stop letting others do it too. Stop accepting less than you deserve. Stop buying things you can’t afford to impress people you don’t even really like. Stop eating your feelings instead of working through them. Stop buying your kids’ love with food, or toys, or friendship because it’s easier than parenting. Stop abusing your body and your mind. Stop! Just get off the never-ending track!

Of course, it’s easy to see why you should be in control of your life. The more difficult part is to actually take things in your own hands.

And here’s how you can do it!

Promises and Commitments

The second – and, quite possibly, the best – of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life was to treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.

Let’s try that out here, suggests Rachel.

Say you have a friend who you like very much and would love to see her succeed. Let’s call her Pam. Now, Pam has a bizarre habit: she oftentimes makes arrangements with you to only back out of them at the last minute.

And her excuses aren’t that great either.

For example, even though a week ago you two had agreed to go to Paris for the weekend and experience French cuisine at its best, she canceled out on you because she felt that eating ice cream and streaming Netflix shows was much more fun.

The excuse sounds even feebler when you realize that Pam had promised to go on a diet just a month ago. When did she give up on the diet?

If you don’t have that high of an opinion for Pam – join the club: we’re not that impressed with her either.

The twist:

You are Pam.

Because you do to yourself what Pam is doing to you in this hypothetical example on a daily basis. You constantly promise yourself things and make commitments you are unable to keep. “Our words have power,” notes down Rachel, “but our actions shape our lives.”

So, lesson one: keep your promises to yourself the same way you’d keep them if you gave them to someone you really love. Bonus: split them into smaller, more manageable chunks so that the rewarding feeling of accomplishment can encourage you to go onward.

Dreams and Fantasies…

Now, going onward is both lonely and tiring if there isn’t a final destination to your journey, an objective you believe is important enough to reach.

And having an objective, on the other hand, is so essential that sometimes it can spell the difference between life and death.

However, “I want to be the next Oprah” or “I want to marry Matt Damon” are not very good goals.

Take it from Rachel.

It was her fantasy to marry Damon ever since Good Will Hunting. She spent hours and hours dreaming about it, picturing their wedding and their beautiful little kids.

Years later in LA, she happened upon Matt Damon while she was working as an events manager at some Miramax event. He was standing across the room and started approaching her the minute their eyes met.

However, since this is not a romantic comedy, but real life, he didn’t tell her that he has never seen a more beautiful woman in his life.

No.

The only thing he said to her was posing the rather anticlimactic question: “Can you tell me where I’m sitting, please?”

In other words, no matter how much of your time you spend visualizing some things, they will never come true if they are unreal to start with.

…and Actual Objectives and Goals

You need something much more tangible.

If you’re Jim Carrey, it can be a $10 million check; in Rachel Hollis’ case, it was a $10,000 Louis Vuitton Speedy purse.

The thought of owning it was what kept her going: she promised herself that she was going to buy it the first time she charged a client $10,000 in consulting fees.

It took her many years and many checks of $1,000 or $2,500 to get there, but one day she did do it. And the first thing she did afterward: went straight to the store and bought the purse. She claims to have never felt prouder.

Two lessons to take from here.

First, instead of setting yourself an unrealistic objective, set yourself a SMART goal. That stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound.

Secondly – well, scratch the part about time-bound. Be patient with your dreams. Sometimes it may take a week to turn them into reality, sometimes more than a decade. Don’t forget that that’s how long it took Julia Child or James Cameron to come up with Mastering the Art of French Cooking or Avatar.

Home and Family

Rachel Hollis is a mother of four.

And she is also a CCO of her own company, a bestselling author, a blogger, and a motivational speaker.

So how does she do it?

“When it comes to women,” she says on her website, “there always seems to be a question about how we can balance everything. Girl, I don’t even try!”

Put simply: forget everything movies ever taught you. Not only there are no happy endings – but there are also no happy middle parts as well. At least not happy in the way they tell you are going to be.

Balancing between life and work is a myth; it’s something nobody can do it. (Not even Shonda Rhimes!)

So, embrace the chaos and try to find yourself around day by day.

Also, don’t even dare to say “no” when someone is offering a helping hand. The Beatles put this better than anyone: you’ll get by with a little help from your friends.

Body Image

Based on the tone of Rachel Hollis’ ode to self-love so far, you can probably already guess what her advice is going to be here, right?

Just embrace who you are and stop punishing yourself by following Instagram profiles of supermodels and actresses.

Well – not exactly: do stop doing the latter, but don’t do the former!

Because your body is a divine gift and you need to keep it in the best form possible. And because it’s not exactly a question of beauty – it’s a matter of health.

So, you don’t need to care about how you’d look like in a bikini on the beaches of Ibiza; but you do need to take your lifestyle seriously if you experienced problems climbing the stairs that Friday the elevator didn’t work!

That’s not a way to live your life.

Throw out most of your snacks. Start eating some healthy food. Exercise.

Your body will be grateful.

Sex

Also – your sex life as well!

If it is in any way boring – then you’re certainly doing something wrong.

Sex should be about pleasure, and when it is not, there’s no reason for it happening at all. And that’s exactly what Rachel convinced herself at a certain point in her marriage; this turned her sex life around.

Namely, firmly believing that the goal of sex is to experience an orgasm, she told her husband that she would never have sex again without achieving this goal. And since her husband was a thinking man, he agreed.

Now – if we are to believe her – Rachel does have an orgasm every time she has sex.

Some of her tips: start enjoying your naked body; encourage yourself with some positive sex talk; experiment; and when things aren’t going that well – well, power it through!

Even if that means committing yourself to having sex every day for, say, a month. Because, let’s face it: that’s one commitment you should be able to carry through easily.

Key Lessons from “Girl, Wash Your Face”

1.      You Are in Control of Your Own Life
2.      Someone Else’s Opinion of You Is None of Your Business
3.      Compare Yourself Only to Yourself from Yesterday

You Are in Control of Your Own Life

If you need to take only one lesson from this book – take this one:

You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.

That’s both a burden and a blessing. Because, on the one hand, it leaves you no room for excuses. But, on the other and more important one, it makes your life a joy and an experiment.

Your own personal, customizable journey.

Someone Else’s Opinion of You Is None of Your Business

We live in a social media-obsessed world, and everybody has something to say about someone.

Most of the time these are not good things. However, more often than not, it is precisely because of these things our lives seem so empty and meaningless.

Why should we?

If something makes us happy, what difference does it make if it doesn’t fit in the conventional narrative of happiness?

Think about it this way: if Picasso or Beethoven did what their surroundings told them to, they wouldn’t have become Picasso and Beethoven.

Compare Yourself Only to Yourself from Yesterday

“Comparison is the death of joy,” notes Rachel Hollis, “and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday.”

Of course you’re not going to be better than Oprah or Sandra Bullock in a few months’ time. Comparisons such as these can only make you feel unhappy and worthless.

But you can be better than yourself from yesterday – and achieving that will make you feel good and content.

Do that long enough and, who knows: maybe you can become the next Oprah or Sandra Bullock!

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Girl, Wash Your Face Quotes”

You must choose to be happy, grateful, and fulfilled. If you make that choice every single day, regardless of where you are or what’s happening, you will be happy. Click To Tweet Friends, it’s not about the goal or the dream you have. It’s about who you become on your way to that goal. Click To Tweet Your dream is worth fighting for, and while you’re not in control of what life throws at you, you are in control of the fight. Click To Tweet When you really want something, you will find a way. When you don’t really want something, you’ll find an excuse. Click To Tweet God has perfect timing, and it's highly possible that by not being where you thought you should be, you will end up exactly where you're meant to go. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

Chances are you are not going to find anything new inside Girl, Wash Your Face.

But, somehow, Rachel Hollis has a way of communicating the clichés in a manner that has already reached the hearts and brains of many girls and women worldwide.

So, why shouldn’t it do the same for you as well?

(One note, though: at certain points, the book may sound a bit too Christian and too preachy; so if that’s not your cup of tea – be prepared for digressions of this kind.)

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Year of Yes PDF Summary

Year of Yes PDF SummaryHow to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person

Are you saying “no” to too many things in your life?

Well, it’s time to change that.

Let Shonda Rhimes help you to kickstart your life-changing “Year of Yes.”

Who Should Read “Year of Yes”? And Why?

Do you like Grey’s Anatomy?

Considering the fact that the show is on TV for about 13 years now, we bet it’s safe to assume that not many would answer that question in the negative.

Well, this is the story of the person behind its success: Shonda Rhimes.

So, if you are a fan of that show, don’t miss this book.

Don’t miss it if you want to be the person behind the next Grey’s Anatomy: there are many lessons here for aspiring TV writers.

However, don’t expect all of them to be encouraging: there’s more to life than being successful. In fact, that’s lesson number one.

About Shonda Rhimes

Shonda Lynn RhimesShonda Rhimes is an American screenwriter and television producer.

She is best known as the creator, writer and executive producer of Grey’s Anatomy and its spin-off Private Practice. She is also the creative force behind ABC’s political thriller Scandal.

In 2017, Netflix purchased the streaming rights for Rhimes’ shows and made a multi-year development deal with her, according to which her future productions will be Netflix Original series.

Year of Yes is Rhimes’ only book so far.

“Year of Yes PDF Summary”

Even if you don’t know who Shonda Rhimes is, you certainly know what Shonda Rhimes has so far done. Because she is the creative force (both writer and producer) behind three top-rated TV shows: Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, and Scandal.

However, if you think that Year of Yes is a book about success – think again! It’s actually much more a book about happiness. And it’s not so much about what you should do to be happy, but about what you should don’t.

It’s also a highly personal account of how Shonda Rhimes became Shonda Rhimes – and what she would have done differently if she could go back in time. And what she actually did the minute she faced her regrets.

Born in Chicago as the youngest of six children to a college professor (her mother) and a university administrator (her father), Rhimes was (expectedly) an introvert.

Her favorite hobby was playing pretend with food items. She had a habit of hiding in her mother’s pastry and developing stories in which the green beans were ruled by the yams, and the tomatoes plotted an overthrow.

She was, in every sense of the phrase, a storyteller from birth, homo narrans.

Unsurprisingly, after attending Marian Catholic High School, she went on to earn a BA at Dartmouth College in English and film studies.

It was here that she started dabbling in much more serious make-believe games, joining the Black Underground Theater Association and directing numerous student productions. She also acted in some of them, writing fiction in the meantime.

It was the beginning of the 1990s, so it’s only natural that Shonda dreamt of becoming the next Toni Morrison, the first black woman to win a Nobel Prize.

Interestingly enough, after Shonda became Shonda Rhimes, she had the privilege to have dinner with Morrison.

The thing they talked about?

Grey’s Anatomy.

Now, how did that happen?

How does one evolve from just a regular person dreaming a dream to an exceptional one living inside it?

Shonda has pretty straightforward advice:

They tell you: Follow your dreams. Listen to your spirit. Change the world. Make your mark. Find your inner voice and make it sing. Embrace failure. Dream. Dream and dream big. As a matter of fact, dream and don’t stop dreaming until your dream comes true.

I think that’s crap.

I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, powerful, engaged people? They are busy doing.

In other words: dreaming is easy; it’s doing the work necessary to turn that dream into a reality that is difficult.

However, that’s not what Shonda learned during this process of becoming one of the most respected people in the film industry; what she did is actually a much bleaker lesson: that success doesn’t bring you happiness.

In fact, it may be the very opposite: it’s what prevents you from being happy.

For two reasons:

First of all, if you want to be successful in Hollywood, you can’t allow yourself a break; however, if you are a writer, that usually means many solitary sleepless and stressful nights. After all, it’s not like you don’t know that even Muses need to take some rest from time to time.

The second reason is even scarier. Namely, no matter how lonely and insecure you feel, you mustn’t show this before anyone. Because nobody has the time to deal with an anxious person with panic attacks in a world where new episodes must come out each week and new TV shows are constantly created and produced.

Rhimes’ solution?

Well, the obvious one: gobbling up her feelings.

Literally.

And, of course, after she realized that this method gained her some weight, she felt so sad that she had to start eating some more.

You know it: the vicious, vicious circle.

And then, one day, her sister and her publicist all but ordered Shonda to accept an invitation for dinner with then-U.S. President Barack Obama and the First Lady.

Suddenly, Shonda realized that there must be another way. In other words, you can, instead of watching the world go by in front of your very eyes, take participation.

And just like Jim Carrey in Yes Man, she decided to say “yes” to everything.

You may remember 2015 as the year you did nothing in particular, but in Shonda Rhimes’ vocabulary, 2015 was her “Year of Yes.”

The first thing Shonda said “yes” to was her social life.

And this led to a few memorable experiences, such as being photographed by Annie Leibovitz and being interviewed (for the first time) for Good Morning America!

In addition, she organized a fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee. And she didn’t reject the offers for a friendly hangout by the cast of her shows.

The second thing Shonda said “yes” to was her family.

Rhimes adopted her first child back in 2002, and her second and third in 2012 and 2013. However, before her “Year of Yes,” she didn’t have that much time for Emerson, Beckett, and Harper. In 2015, however, she decided that that’s not a way to live your life.

So, she started saying “yes” every time her daughters would ask her to play with them. And she stopped working during the weekends so that she can dedicate herself fully to her family for at least two days a week.

It wasn’t always like that.

When she adopted her first child, a friend of hers asked her whether she had started interviewing for a nanny. Rhimes was furious: “Why would I want to adopt a child if I plan to make it someone else’s problem?” – she yelled.

However, soon enough she realized that real life doesn’t work the way movies do. In real life, it is quite tricky – and almost impossible – to balance family and work.

In comes Jenny McCarthy.

Though she has written some books about parenting – no, we’re not talking about that Jenny McCarthy.

It’s Shonda Rhimes’ supernanny who, in Rhimes’ words, helped her both realize that it is impossible to do it all and, ironically, actually do it all. (Your friends are an extension of you; and you are an extension of your friends. Never forget that.)

This helped Rhimes feel much more confident and act with much more assertiveness. And it inspired her to say “no” once in a while – when that secretly means saying “yes.”

Because a “no” to self-depreciation is actually a “yes” to compliments. And a “yes” to compliments leads to just the perfect amount of self-love.

And that – as Rupi Kaur points over and over again – is the only valid starting point of love.

Not to mention health, as well!

You see, Shonda Rhimes lost 117 pounds during 2015.

Now, you can say that it’s because of exercising and dieting and you won’t be wrong. However, the real, underlying reason is something else.

A newly discovered capacity for self-love.

Key Lessons from “Year of Yes”

1.      Unhappiness May Be the Price for Success
2.      The FODs and the Bad-Asses
3.      The One Rule of Happiness

Unhappiness May Be the Price for Success

Most people know that happiness and success are intricately related. And they instinctively agree that the former must follow from the latter.

OK, let’s agree with that. So, you can’t be happy if you are not successful. But can consider yourself successful if you are not happy?

As Shonda Rhimes found out during her “Year of Yes” – no, you can’t. And, unfortunately, success may be an obstacle on your road to happiness.

Because you may have to sacrifice many things so that you can become successful. And because, during the process, you may forget that you wanted to be successful only so that you can enjoy those exact same things.

You know – the plotline for every romantic comedy ever.

It turns out it’s much too real.

The FODs and the Bad-Asses

Shonda Rhimes thinks herself a FOD, that is “first, only different.”

How different?

Well, you know: not male, not white, and yet highly successful.

Since she’s a rare kind even today – did luck have anything to do with her success?

“I am not lucky,” answers at one point Shonda Rhimes. “You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way, and I work really, really hard. Don’t call me lucky. Call me a badass.”

Other people you can call badasses: Julia Child, Serena Williams, Oprah… Wonder Woman. And Brené Brown.

And, well, you.

If you want to, that is.

The One Rule of Happiness

Remember the Anna Karenina Principle?

If not, maybe the first line of that brilliant Tolstoy novel will refresh your memory: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

In other words, in order to be happy, you need to check all the checkboxes. You can be unhappy, however, if only one (any one: love, friends, family, work, etc.) of the checkboxes is left empty.

Obviously, this explains why it is so much more difficult to be happy. But, what it doesn’t say is how you can be happy.

Shonda Rhimes, however, thinks that, in fact, it does.

Because, if there are so many things that influence our happiness, and if each of us is different – then the only way to happiness is your way.

There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It’s funny that we still think of it that way. Normalize your lives, people.

You don’t want a baby? Don’t have one. I don’t want to get married? I won’t. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love someone. Don’t apologize, don’t explain, don’t ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it.

And that’s the one rule of happiness: don’t listen to others telling you how you can make yourself happy. It won’t work – because you’re a unique individual. Follow your inner voice should work. Even if that means having no family of your own or being less than successful in your profession.

For some people, happiness is having a coffee with their high school friends once a week. And why shouldn’t it be?

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Year of Yes Quotes”

Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Click To Tweet ’Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need.’ ‘He is very dreamy,’ she says. ‘But he is not the sun. You are.’ Click To Tweet Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral. Pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It’s hard work that makes things happen. It’s hard work that creates change. Click To Tweet Losing yourself does not happen all at once. Losing yourself happens one ‘no’ at a time. Click To Tweet If I don't poke my head out of my shell and show people who I am, all anyone will ever think I am is my shell. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

Year of Yes is – to quote a review – “as fun to read as Rhimes’s TV series are to watch.”

So, if you enjoy rapid-fire dialogue, poignant moments, great punchlines and unforgettable life lessons – you’ll enjoy this memoir as well.

Raw and revelatory, Year of Yes is as life-affirming as its title.

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

This Is Going to Hurt Summary

This Is Going to Hurt SummarySecret Diaries of a Junior Doctor

Your doctor made a mistake? And you have something angry to say to him? What about him saying an angry thing to you?

Trust us:

This Is Going to Hurt.”

Twice.

Because it’s both painful and painfully funny.

Who Should Read “This Is Going to Hurt”? And Why?

“This Is Going to Hurt” is the book you must read if you have anything against doctors. It’s also the one you should read if you view them as “low-grade superheroes.” It seems both lead to equally dangerous consequences.

Finally, don’t give yourself an option to skip this book if you are a British and want to understand better the health care system in your country.

About Adam Kay

Adam KayAdam Kay is a British author, scriptwriter and former doctor.

Best known as part of the musical parody duo “Amateur Transplants,” Kay has co-created the BBC Three sitcom “Crims;” his TV writing credits also include “Mrs. Brown’s Boys,” “Watson & Oliver” and “Mitchell and Webb.”

Widely admired, “This Is Going to Hurt” is his first book.

“This Is Going to Hurt Summary”

Since Adam Kay is British and since the objective of this (otherwise brilliant and universally accessible) book – published a year ago, almost to the day – is a bit topical, first the much necessary background.

In 2012 – two years after Kay resigned from his Senior Registrar job – the British Medical Association (BMA) and NHS Employees entered negotiations with an attempt to reach a new contract for junior doctors.

And everything was going well – or, better yet, civilized – until UK’s 2015 general election, after which Britain’s Health and Social Care Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, threatened to impose a few items from the Conservative Party’s election manifesto which directly concerned.

Hunt’s contract proposals made little to no sense to almost every BMA and NHS member, leading to a general junior doctors’ strike in January 2016 – the first of its kind in almost four decades!

Jeremy Hunt remained deaf to the demands, and, among other things, blamed junior doctors for being greedy and putting their needs in front of their patients’.

And that’s when Adam Kay decided to write This Is Going to Hurt. His aim was not just to expose the failings of modern health systems, but, even more, to reveal the extent to which doctors are continually misrepresented by the government, the media, and, well, us.

This Is Going to Hurt is actually a collection of diary entries Kay jotted down during the years of his medical training.

He started it (after attending Dulwich College and the Imperial College School of Medicine) as a House Officer in 2004; he ended it six years later as a Senior Registrar – the UK equivalent of USA’s Senior or Chief Resident in Surgery.

As expected, thousands of things happened in the meantime, all recollected with Kay’s now-famous down-to-earth and all-too-honest sense of humor.

(Yup, in case you skipped the bio, he’s the same guy who created “Crims” and a couple of other things; unsurprisingly, “This Is Going to Hurt” is also a BBC 2 comedy-drama series-in-development).

So, under different dates, you’ll read about Kay’s long nights spent in the emergency department, his attempts to save other people’s lives, and – well, at least we said that he was honest – four different objects he took from his patient’s rectums (of course, it was more than just one person).

And there are parts that are pure comedy gold and downright hilarious, such as, say, this memorable meeting with an old lady that happened to Kay on July 5, 2005:

Trying to work out a seventy-year-old lady’s alcohol consumption to record in the notes. I’ve established that wine is her poison. Me: ‘And how much wine do you drink per day, would you say?’ Patient: ‘About three bottles on a good day.’ Me: ‘OK . . . And on a bad day?’ Patient: ‘On a bad day I only manage one.’

Very soon after this event, Kay decides to specialize in gynecology and obstetrics, and two years later – in August 2007 – he is promoted to Registrar.

And during this time Kay learns something about doctors that is usually taken for granted: “a great doctor must have a huge heart and a distended aorta through which pumps a vast lake of compassion and human kindness.”

Because, you see, in addition to all the happy faces surrounding those delivered babies and STD-infected teenagers, being a junior gynecologist also means sleeping just one or two hours in the parking lot and finding no gratitude for it – not even among your colleagues.

Of course, it also means being unpaid for all those overtime hours, which is kind of ironic once you realize that doctors save lives, and you’ll get paid overtime for saving (as in Ctrl+S) that Excel table of yours!

To make matter worse, taking a sick day is all but an impossibility because it’s difficult to find someone to cover you when he/she too is going through the same.

“It’s funny – you don’t think of doctors getting ill” – writes Kay remembering a remark.

And he goes on:

I think it’s part of something bigger: patients don’t actually think of doctors as being human. It’s why they’re so quick to complain if we make a mistake or if we get cross. It’s why they’ll bite our heads off when we finally call them into our over-running clinic room at 7 p.m., not thinking that we also have homes we’d rather be at. But it’s the flip side of not wanting your doctor to be fallible, capable of getting your diagnosis wrong. They don’t want to think of medicine as a subject that anyone on the planet can learn, a career choice their mouth-breathing cousin could have made.

So, why didn’t Adam quit?

Well, because of the happy faces we mentioned above.

Managing to help infertile couples become pregnant or delivering a few babies during one night can be such a spine-tingling and rewarding experience that you’re bound to forget that you haven’t eaten for 37 hours once in a while!

However, being a “low-grade superhero” takes its toll; unfortunately, sometimes it’s too high a toll.

On August 2010, Kay was promoted to Senior Registrar, the second-highest ranking position just after Consultant. That, of course, brought with itself new responsibilities and anxieties.

Just three months later, on December 2, 2010, Adam Kay began to perform a cesarean section on a patient with an undiagnosed placenta praevia.

As a result, the baby comes out dead, and the mother experiences severe blood loss which another surgeon eventually manages to stop but only after performing a hysterectomy.

Adam’s faith in his capabilities is shaken to its very core. He is unable to do anything for the rest of the day, feeling depression and utter hopelessness.

However – he isn’t offered a proper therapy or given a day off! The next day, he needs to come back to work once again and is expected to deliver at his usual capacity.

As one could expect, Kay is unable to do that anymore.

Just several months later, he officially resigns from his job.

Key Lessons from “This Is Going to Hurt”

1.      Everybody Thinks That Doctors Are Superhumans (Spoiler Alert: They Are Not!)
2.      Doctors Are Mistreated… and More Than You Can Imagine
3.      Doctors Really Do Deserve More

Everybody Thinks That Doctors Are Superhumans (Spoiler Alert: They Are Not!)

If you have ever watched merely one “House” episode, chances are you already know how the next one is going to unravel. (This just for the example’s sake: almost needless to say, we really love “House”).

First, a patient comes with a symptom pretty much everyone but the condescending and arrogant House sees for the first time in their lives; then, things get worse since the initial diagnosis turns out to be wrong and the patient’s condition only gets worse; and, finally, Dr. House puts two and two together and comes up with a brilliant and brilliantly simple solution which makes everybody and everything all right.

Now, we don’t need to tell you that this doesn’t’ happen much too often in real life. Not only because most doctors don’t really have the time to act as if they are Sherlock Holmes in a white coat; but, also because they are (just like you and me) nothing more than humans.

The main problem?

Well, you and me.

The public.

You see, we don’t think of doctors as humans.

Oh, no – we think of them as if they are nothing less than Dr. House, and that is, without his cynicism and misanthropy!

We want them to be both available and understanding at all times, and we want them to treat every patient around them with equal care, compassion, and expertise.

And we want them to always know the solution.

It should be merely obvious, warns Adam Kay, that this is all but impossible.

Just like us, doctors have to take good 8-hour naps and eat enough food; and just like us, they want to spend significant portions of their time around their loved ones; finally – and this is, probably, the most important thing – just like us, doctors make mistakes.

Constantly.

Kay decided to end his career after he made one – endangering the life of a pregnant woman after missing a placenta praevia diagnosis – but every doctor that has ever treated you, at a certain point of his life, had no option but to find the will to carry on after making a similar mistake.

Now, be honest – do you possess the mental strength to do the same?

Doctors Are Mistreated… and More Than You Can Imagine

Things get only worse from there.

If you want us to paint you a picture, here’s a comparison we’d like you to think over:

1. What would the word “failure” mean in the dictionary of a great director?
2. What would the same word mean in the dictionary of an average doctor?
3. What would “failure” mean for, say, Superman?

“The difference,” writes Adam Kay, “is obviously the whole ‘life and death’ thing, which is what separates this job from all others, and makes it so unfathomable to people on the outside.”

In other words, the three types of failures we asked you to ponder about above – a bad movie, a lost life, the end of the whole universe – don’t weigh even remotely the same. And yet – we use the same word for all of them.

We expect too much from certain people, and it is impossible for them to live up to these expectations; but, unfortunately, our expectations are precisely what makes their lives miserable.

Just like Superman, doctors don’t have the luxury to ignore calls or emergencies, even if they come past work hours; unfortunately, they usually don’t get paid for that; and it seems that they don’t get paid a lot for their regular working hours as well.

Also, sick days and vacations are not exactly something they can take speedily, or even straightforwardly plan them in advance: as Kay explains, it is not that easy to find someone to cover your shift, when everybody is working two of them each day.

Kay found out about this the hard way, after being unable to take any time off following his career-ending mistake to recover emotionally. Just imagine how you felt after, say, missing your boyfriend’s birthday or failing your driver’s exam and how much time and solitude you needed to come back to your best.

Well, Kay wasn’t allowed either to come back to even his regular self after possibly causing the death of an infant!

Hell, he was expected to deliver other babies even though – as expected – he couldn’t even get a single hour of sleep which is a debilitating factor in itself!

Even so, when all’s said and done, Adam Kay delivers his verdict on his job with a heartwarming twist:

The hours are terrible, the pay is terrible, the conditions are terrible; you’re underappreciated, unsupported, disrespected and frequently physically endangered. But there’s no better job in the world.

Doctors Really Do Deserve More

As we stated above, Kay decided to publish this book after Jeremy Hunt – current Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs – labeled junior doctors as “greedy” during their contract dispute with the British Medical Association.

Well, if you are like us, reading this book will probably make you more sympathetic to the doctors. And give you several reasons why you should take their side, even if their strikes affect you personally.

Because, the bottom line is, doctors have one of the most mentally (and even physically) exhausting, accountable and blamable professions of all.

And whatever they get – they certainly deserve more.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“This Is Going to Hurt Quotes”

A great doctor must have a huge heart and a distended aorta through which pumps a vast lake of compassion and human kindness. Click To Tweet The depth of the lows is the price you pay for the height of the highs. Click To Tweet As the patient flailed around, resisting this awful thing going down his throat, the blood jetted everywhere: on me, on Hugo, on the walls, curtains, ceiling. It was like a particularly avant-garde episode of Changing Rooms. Click To Tweet Bleeped awake at 3AM from my first half hour shut-eye in three shifts to prescribe a sleeping pill to a patient whose sleep is evidently much more important than mine. My powers are greater than I realized; I arrive on the ward to find… Click To Tweet But it’s a Saturday night and the NHS runs a skeleton service. Actually, that’s unfair on skeletons – it’s more like when they dig up remains of Neolithic Man and reconstruct what he might have looked like from a piece of clavicle and a… Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

“This Is Going to Hurt” is a highly personal, unputdownable book that has the power to both make you laugh out loud and touch you deeply. “Hilarious and heartbreaking” – sums these effects Black Mirror’s Charlie Brooker; “very funny with a sobering message” adds comedian Chris Addison. “Witty, gruesome, alarming and touching,” concludes British presenter Jonathan Dimbleby.

It’s all those things and more.

Trust us.

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers PDF Summary

Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers PDFThe Acclaimed Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping

This is not just another book about stress.

In fact, it’s probably the only one you should read.

Since it’s written by a renowned scientist and a brilliant science writer and since it will not only expose many of the other stress-related books as fakes, but it will also offer you science-backed tips on how to control your stress levels.

And since, let’s face it, there’s not another book on the market which actually explains “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers.”

Who Should Read “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers”? And Why?

Even if it certainly looks that way – trust us – we didn’t oversell “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” in the introduction above.

So, if you feel under a lot of stress and want to understand its origins and learn a few coping mechanisms – this is the book we recommend.

It’s a book we most warmly recommend to anyone who is even remotely curious about human behavioral biology and the inner workings of the human’s body.

About Robert Sapolsky

Robert SapolskyRobert M. Sapolsky is an American neuroendocrinologist, a professor of biology and a widely revered science writer.

Born in 1957 in Brooklyn, New York to Soviet immigrants (hence the surname), Sapolsky obtained a Ph.D. in neuroendocrinology at Rockefeller University, after spending some time in Kenya to study the social behavior of baboons and a few years more working in the lab of noted endocrinologist Bruce McEwan.

Dubbed “one of the best science writers of our time” by none other than Oliver Sacks, Sapolsky has authored seven bestselling books, including “The Trouble with Testosterone,” “A Primate Memoir,” and “Behave.”

He is currently the John A. and Cynthia Fry Gunn Professor at Stanford University

“Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers PDF Summary”

All animals – humans notwithstanding – possess basically the same stress-response mechanism, grounded in something aptly called the “fight-or-flight syndrome.”

“Aptly” because we practically don’t need to explain it: when in the presence of great physical danger, your only two choices are to either fight back or flee.

Now, if you are a lion attacked by another lion, there’s a good chance that you’ll try not to be a coward; however, if you are a zebra and you happen to notice a lion lurking in your vicinity, well, you better run!

Strangely enough, as far as the biology of the response is concerned, it matters not whether you fight back or flee: in either case, vast amounts of energy are delivered to your muscles, so that you are able to fight or run away.

If you want the response of your body broken down a bit, here’s an explanation of what the fight-or-flight syndrome actually does inside you!

First, your liver and your fat cells release glucose, fats, and simple proteins, and feed the muscles you’re going to need the most during the next few minutes; so, if you are a zebra, you suddenly get super leg muscles!

At the same time, your blood pressure, your breathing rate and your heart rate increase dramatically in an attempt to acquire and send more nutrients and oxygen throughout your body.

Chances are you’re not going to eat anything or have sex with someone while a lion is chasing you down the African savannah, so – in an attempt to conserve all the energy it possibly can – your body shuts down both your digestive and reproductive functions.

What happens next is the most interesting part if you have that misfortune of being a human: the minute the danger passes, the stress-response mechanisms shut down, and everything’s suddenly back to normal, regardless of the fact that you had been in a life-or-death situation just a few moments ago.

And why is this interesting?

Well, because, as Sapolsky notes, even though “zebras and lions may see trouble coming in the next minute and mobilize a stress-response” they “can’t get stressed about events far in the future.”

So, in a way, their fight-or-flight apparatus is finely tuned to their ways of life.

Because as great as it is to have super legs when you’re running for your life, it’s all but pointless to keep having them – and have problems eating and reproducing – even when you’re trying to calmly lie down or graze in the savannah!

And because:

Sustained or repeated stress can disrupt our bodies in seemingly endless ways… Many of the damaging diseases of slow accumulation can be either caused or made far worse by stress.

That’s where we, the humans, come in.

You see, we have – fortunately – developed the very same mechanisms to cope with danger, but we have – unfortunately? – developed a highly complex brain as well!

The result?

We get stressed by a job interview or the taxes, by a tight deadline or an expected visit from our parents – the same way a zebra does when attacked by a lion; and, what’s even worse, we do that not in the immediate presence of this danger, but way in advance of it!

So, basically, we have mastered the art of wasting our body’s energy on the wrong places and at the wrong time while leaving some other parts of us completely bereaved of energy when they need it the most.

Let’s go back to our example with the zebra.

If the stress-response mechanism causes its digestion and reproductive functions to shut down, what do you think it will happen to it if this fight-or-flight syndrome grows into something of a chronic nature?

You’ve guessed it: serious, serious problems!

Now you probably get why zebras can’t get stress-induced ulcers and why men regularly get them!

And you finally understand why you had problems maintaining your erection that night before the interview for that coveted job.

Key Lessons from “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers”

1.      Stress-Response Mechanism = Fight-or-Flight Syndrome
2.      How to Treat Stress: Few Practical Bits of Advice
3.      Stress Is Bad… But Let’s Not Stress Out Over It

Stress-Response Mechanism = Fight-or-Flight Syndrome

Humans and animals share the same fight-or-flight mechanism.

In a nutshell, this means that in the presence of great physical danger, our bodies react in much the similar manner: they release vast amounts of energy and direct it to the most important centers at the moment to prepare us to either fight back or flee.

This is basically what stress is.

However, humans react in much the same way even in the absence of danger, namely, even if merely thinking about it.

And that’s very bad.

How to Treat Stress: Few Practical Bits of Advice

Stress can be reduced – but it’s impossible to eliminate it altogether.

There are no magical cures for it, but there are a few things that seem to help:

#1. Exercise: self-explanatory; demonstrated to reduce stress in numerous studies.
#2. Socialization: the more time you spend with friendly people – the right people – the less time your body will think that it needs to fight someone or flee from somebody else.
#3. Predictability: as we explained above, only humans can stress over future events; which is especially dreadful, since sometimes these events don’t happen at all; so, try to establish predictability when you can so that you can prepare your body in advance.
#4. The 80/20 Rule: Be aware that the first 20% of your efforts should reduce about 80% of your stress.
#5. Find an outlet: find something that gets you back to normal; it can be anything depending on the person; in our case, is playing or watching soccer.
#6. Serenity now: OK, that didn’t work that well for Frank Costanza! But something similar worked more than perfect for both the Stoics and the numerous people who know the Serenity Prayer by heart.

Stress Is Bad… But Let’s Not Stress Out Over It

There is a strong relationship between stress and some illnesses and a moderate one in the case of some other diseases.

However, stress is almost always just a part of the equation.

So, please stop giving money to people who say otherwise:

Everything bad in human health now is not caused by stress, nor is it in our power to cure ourselves of all our worst medical nightmares merely by reducing stress and thinking healthy thoughts full of courage and spirit and love. Would it were so. And shame on those who would profit from selling this view.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers Quotes”

Sustained or repeated stress can disrupt our bodies in seemingly endless ways. Click To Tweet

What goes on in your head can affect how well your immune system functions. Click To Tweet

Many of the damaging diseases of slow accumulation can be either caused or made far worse by stress. Click To Tweet

If you’re running 26 miles in a day, you’re either very intent on eating someone or someone’s very intent on eating you. Click To Tweet

Hope for the best and let that dominate most of your emotions, but at the same time let one small piece of you prepare for the worst. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

We absolutely adore Robert M. Sapolsky!

So, it’s kind of difficult for us to be objective about any of his books.

We won’t be about this one either: already in its third edition, this is far and away the best book on stress out there!

Sapolsky knows his stuff, and he has a way with both words and images. So, there’s not only plenty you’ll find enjoyable here – but there’s also plenty you’ll never forget.

10/10!

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Stealing Fire PDF Summary

Stealing Fire PDFHow Silicon Valley, the Navy SEALs, and Maverick Scientists Are Revolutionizing the Way We Live and Work

Steve Jobs once said that taking LSD was not merely “a profound experience,” but also “one of the two or three most important things” he had done in his life.

Stealing Fire” may hold the answer as to why.

Who Should Read “Stealing Fire”? And Why?

If you are living on this planet, you probably know who Malcolm Gladwell is and what the rule of 10,000 hours he popularized refers to. Put plain and simple: if you want to become a master at something, be sure to spend years and years training to do that something.

Well, “Stealing Fire” is about those who believe in shortcuts: according to Steven Kotler and Jamie Wheal, high performance is nowadays much more linked to states of altered consciousness than it is with grit and habits.

Those who simply want to learn more about altered consciousness are welcomed to read this book as well.

About Steven Kotler and Jamie Wheal

Steven KotlerSteven Kotler is an American journalist, author, and entrepreneur.

One of the leading experts on high performance, he is most famous for his several nonfiction books, three of which are already considered classics in the field: “Bold,” “The Rise of Superman” and, especially, “Abundance.”

He is also the co-founder of the Flow Genome Project.

Jamie WhealJamie Wheal is an American author, an expert in leadership and peak performance.

He has advised numerous executives, owners of sports teams and athletes.

A historical anthropologist by degree, Wheal’s studies have been published in peer-review academic journals and anthologies.

“Stealing Fire PDF Summary”

The myth of Prometheus stealing the divine fire and gifting it to mankind is probably one of the most famous myths in history.

No wonder it has inspired numerous authors to call Prometheus a champion of mankind and think of fire as the fundamental building block of progress and civilization.

In “Stealing Fire,” Steven Kotler and Jamie Wheal use this myth as the underlying metaphor to make a rather controversial case: just like Zeus in Greek mythology, the governments and the corporations of today are keeping “the fire of altered consciousness” to themselves – and we need a few Prometheuses to steal it!

Why?

Because we have science on our side, and they are consciously preventing us from experiencing one of the most beautiful states a person can experience in his or her life: a state the Greeks referred to as ecstasis, and one that Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi decided to rechristen it as “flow.” (Kotler and Wheal stick to the ancient terminology.)

Namely, the state of fully immersing yourself in the present in such a way which will make you experience it in all of its richness, completeness, and timelessness:

In case you still don’t know what we’re talking about, ecstasis is something you have/can/will experience while having sex or, if you practice it, during a session of deep meditation.

And, yes – after taking psychedelic drugs.

All of these things lead to a state of altered consciousness which is defined by four characteristics, neatly grouped under the acronym STER:

#1. Selflessness: your prefrontal cortex is a quite recent formation designed to separate you from the rest. However, this means that it is constantly anxious; in the state of ecstasis, people shut off their selves and are capable of experiencing “collective awareness.”

#2. Timelessness: unfortunately, no matter how many books have been written about the power of now, we are evolutionarily designed much too imperfectly to be able to live in the present:

Under normal conditions, with an active prefrontal cortex constantly scanning scenarios in the past and the future, we spend very little time living completely in the present… When our attention is focused on the present, we stop scanning yesterday for painful experiences… We quit daydreaming about a tomorrow that’s better than today. With our prefrontal cortex offline, we can’t run those scenarios.

In the state of ecstasis, however, time is suddenly non-existent, and everything there is in the world is the present moment. Already breathing a sigh of relief, ha?

#3. Effortlessness: in ecstasis, your brain releases six neurochemicals: norepinephrine, dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, and anandamide. These make you feel as if you are a master of your craft and as if you are on your way to producing a masterpiece.

#4. Richness: in the state of ecstasis, you are able to make connections much faster than in a normal state; thus, you are able to see things in a new light and bring disparate ideas together in a way which should help you generate an abundance of completely original solutions and new ideas.

We have terabytes of information available to us,” note Kotler and Wheal; “we just can’t tap into it in our normal state.

Now, before you say “a completely unsubstantiated apology for using psychedelic drugs,” bear with us for a few more moments!

First of all, do you know that humans are not the only animals who take drugs? (Before you say anything: yes, we are animals!)

Strangely enough, despite the potentially adverse health effects, it seems that many members of the animal kingdom use drugs in one way or another.

That’s the reason why dogs lick toads and why cats like catnip so much. Goats have been known to eat magic mushrooms since the dawn of times. And bottlenose dolphins toss puffer fish back and forth to, well, get high: the process helps them ingest micro-doses of the puffer fish’s neurotoxins!

Much more interestingly, it seems that some drugs are not as harmful as some other substances, which, for some reason, have been legal for centuries.

And this is not a claim merely thrown out there, but something David Nutt, one of the most respected British neuropsychopharmacologists maintains, backing it up with proper studies and data.

It seems that alcohol does more harm to both its consumers and society than do even heroin and crack cocaine, while tobacco is unhealthier than both cannabis and LSD!

See for yourself:

So, why are tobacco and alcohol allowed and LSD and cannabis forbidden?

Possibly because, unlike the former two, the latter pair tends to make people less manageable and more empowered, just like sex does, just as meditation does. And not because psychedelic drugs are more harmful than cigarettes or whiskey!

Now, don’t get us wrong: everything comes with a caveat.

Even sex.

But, then again,

The ecstasy will always come with the agony; that’s the human condition.

Key Lessons from “Stealing Fire”

1.      The Altered States Economy
2.      Eric Schmidt and the Burning Man
3.      Constant State of Flow

The Altered States Economy

At a time when you are expected to deliver great results on a daily basis, not only distractions aren’t your friend, but also the normal, default state of your mind may be your enemy.

That’s why, everybody wants to experience something more, obtaining a state of ecstasy and euphoria, a state of the perfect workflow.

Many of the ways to achieve this are perfectly legal: sex, meditation, coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, legal drugs, VR, other types of immersive experiences, social media.

Combined, these account for about $4 trillion of the US economy on an annual basis.

And that’s how fabulously much “the altered states economy” is worth.

Eric Schmidt and the Burning Man

You probably know who Eric Schmidt is.

If not, here are the two most important highlights: he is one of the richest people in the world and the CEO of Google from 2001 to 2015, as well as Alphabet Inc. the next two years.

Now, do you know how Sergey Brin and Larry Page finally settled on him?

Believe it or not, because he was able to prove his courage and determination by attending the Burning Man festival.

Don’t know what that is?

Bearing in mind the subject of this book, you already know that it’s an altered-consciousness related festival.

But, please, google it to find out more. And while doing that, have in mind that it’s where Elon Musk’s hyperlink train was first conceived!

Constant State of Flow

Ecstasis is a state during which one is able to experience selflessness, timelessness, effortlessness, and richness. Needless to add, it’s something few would argue to experience at least five to ten times a day.

But, try to imagine having sex as many times, and you’ll see why a constant state of flow is not a goal to be desired. In the cases of some other ecstasies-inducing experiences, it may be even worse: a lot, lot worse.

Which is something you should never forget, since, nowadays, ecstasies lie within your grasp and it is just too tempting?

So, choose your moments of ecstasy wisely. And use them to enrich your life – not destroy it.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Stealing Fire Quotes”

The human brain remains the most complex machine on the planet. Click To Tweet

Advances in science and technology are giving us unprecedented access to and insight about the upper range of human experience. Click To Tweet

If you train your body and brain, and manage your energy and attention, you’ll be able to get into the flow more frequently and perform better at work and at home. Click To Tweet

Once we step beyond taboos and social conditioning, it’s easier to see that access to ecstasis has been hardwired into us. Click To Tweet

The ecstasy will always come with the agony; that’s the human condition. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

Controversial and provocative, “Stealing Fire” is – to quote its blurb – “a guidebook for anyone who wants to radically upgrade their life.”

Well worth (at least) a read.

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Designing Your Life PDF Summary

Designing Your Life PDF SummaryHow to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life

Everything you see around you has been designed to match somebody’s original vision.

Bill Burnett and Dave Evans have an idea: why not do the same with your life as well?

They have a manual to help you get started:

Designing Your Life.”

Who Should Read “Designing Your Life”? And Why?

There’s nothing more deadening than a nine-to-five routine in a career you don’t love.

Burnett and Evans’ “Designing Your Life” is a book written specifically for those who are both stuck in it and want to do away with it once and for all.

Dubbed “an inspiring and thought-provoking graduation gift,” “Designing Your Life” is also the perfect book for recent graduates and last-year students.

About Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

Bill BurnettBill Burnett is a Consulting Assistant Professor at Stanford and the Executive Director of the Design Program at Stanford University.

After earning a master’s degree in product design from Stanford University, Burnett led Apple’s Powerbook product line, before coming back to teach at Stanford.

With Evans, he co-founded the Life Design Lab.

Dave EvansDave Evans is an American entrepreneur and design professor.

After a successful career at Apple, he co-founded the famous video game company Electronic Arts, after which he became a Consulting Assistant Professor at Stanford University.

“Designing Your Life” is his only book so far.

“Designing Your Life PDF Summary”

Almost 70 percent of US workers are not satisfied with their jobs.

Moreover, about 30 million Americans aged between 44 and 70 believe that they have made the wrong college choice and, if given an opportunity, would choose differently now.

And now the twist:

75 percent of college graduates don’t really work in a field which bears any resemblance to the subject they majored in!

Even though at first glance the third statistics may seem bad as well, you can consider it your silver lining as well: it means that there’s always a chance to do something differently.

In other words, you can reach your final destination even if your current location isn’t the one you hoped for. You just need to know the direction.

Who cares if it takes you longer: the point is to live the life you always wanted to!

There are four critical areas of your life you need to assess before you embark on your journey:

#1. Health: physical, emotional, mental – they are all important, the basis of everything else!
#2. Work: and it doesn’t matter whether paid or volunteer.
#3. Play: the things you do for the fun of them!
#4. Love: now, do we really need to define love (yes, this one includes your pets as well!)

The goal, of course, is to find a balance between these four areas – one that you will find most suitable to your current interests and future expectations.

Another balance you should pay a lot of attention to is the one between your workview and your lifeview, aka your personal philosophy of what the phrases “good job” and “good life” mean.

Write about 250 words on each so that you have a clear vision of both. And set your compass accordingly.

In other words, don’t take a job which doesn’t fit neatly enough within your lifeview. No matter how much it pays, in time, it will bring you discontent and unhappiness, since it will eventually force you to either reconsider your principles or quit.

Speaking of happiness – don’t forget to keep a Good Time Journal.

This is nothing more but a simple diary documenting not only your experiences but also your reactions to them.

If you feel engaged and focused, underline those activities in green; if you feel bored or unhappy, underline them in red.

But, put in bold, highlight and circle the activities during which you experience full immersion, or what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi refers to as flow. Some people experience flow while playing football, others when writing; yet, a third group while dancing or making lunch.

It doesn’t matter – once highlighted, these moments will help you realize which things energize you and which things drain your energy.

No need to point out the obvious: once you uncover them, choose the former, thus choosing yourself.

However, what if there are no such things at the moment?

In other words, what if you are all but drained out of all energy and stuck in a career, an environment, a life that seemingly you can’t get out of?

There’s a way out for that as well!

Getting unstuck starts with mind mapping, i.e., making a map of associations stemming from one central idea which should be your final goal.

Say that you want to become a good writer even though you spend most of your day working as a programmer at an obscure bank.

Put “writing” in the center of your mind map and start brainstorming associations, such as “books,” “reading,” “studying,” “free time.” Now jot down secondary associations, like “a room of one’s own,” “silence,” and “library.”

Now, put these ideas into an actionable plan: maybe all you need is a library card and two hours of silence a day to start your project.

After all, many authors managed to write award-winning books while having full-time jobs. How did they do it?

If you want to know more about the best ways to design your life, you can listen to TEDTalks delivered by both of the authors on YouTube.

Here you’ll find Dave Evans’ San Francisco TED Talk.

Below you can watch Bill Burnett’s:

Key Lessons from “Designing Your Life”

1.      Your Life Is Just Another Designer’s Problem
2.      Reframing Your Dysfunctional Beliefs
3.      Develop a Failure Immunity

Your Life Is Just Another Designer’s Problem

Designers constantly deal with problems. Two of them – Bill Burnett and Dave Evans – realized that the biggest one of them all has been too rarely addressed in designer’s terms: Life.

In “Designing Your Life” they suggest innovative ways through which you can actually design your life the same way a carpenter designs a cabinet – with a lot of planning and flawless execution.

In their words:

A well-designed life is a life that is generative—it is constantly creative, productive, changing, evolving, and there is always the possibility of surprise. You get out of it more than you put in. There is a lot more than ‘lather, rinse, repeat’ in a well-designed life.

The main philosophy of a life designer boils down to two simple rules:

1. You choose better when you have lots of good ideas to choose from.
2. You never choose your first solution to any problem.

Reframing Your Dysfunctional Beliefs

Possibly nothing hinders your life as much as your dysfunctional beliefs.

The best way to deal with them is by reframing them.

For example, a dysfunctional belief would be that there’s only one person perfect for you on this whole planet.

Reframe this dysfunctional belief (which has probably resulted in numerous heartbreaks so far) into the one which is statistically much more probable: there are “multiple great designs” of your ideal partner, and it’s your job to experiment.

Develop a Failure Immunity

We have mentioned this numerous times: not only failures aren’t that bad, but they are actually great learning experiences.

Just reframing your dysfunctional belief that you must never fail can help you live a far happier life. But if you follow Burnett’s and Evans’ advice, you can do one better!

List all of your failures (experienced and potential) and divide them into three categories: “screw-ups” (e.g., pouring coffee) “weaknesses” (e.g., you can’t drive) and “growth opportunities” (e.g., wrongly allocating the money for your first startup).

The first are trivial and will keep on happening no matter what you do; the former are part of your character and, instead of spending years to correct them, you need to accept them and focus on putting your strengths to work instead.

The third category is the one you should constantly assess, so that you can see what you have learned from your past failures and what you should do to prevent them from happening in the future.

There it is: now you’re failure-immune!

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Designing Your Life Quotes”

It doesn’t matter where you come from, where you think you are going, what job or career you have had or think you should have. You are not too late, and you’re not too early. Click To Tweet Dysfunctional Belief: Happiness is having it all. Reframe: Happiness is letting go of what you don’t need. Click To Tweet Living coherently doesn't mean everything is in perfect order all the time. It means you are living in alignment with your values and have not sacrificed your integrity along the way. Click To Tweet It’s not hard to imagine that if we added up all the hours spent trying to figure out life, for some of us they would outweigh the hours spent actually living life. Really. Living. Life. Click To Tweet As a life designer, you need to embrace two philosophies: 1. You choose better when you have lots of good ideas to choose from. 2. You never choose your first solution to any problem. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

In the words of Daniel Pink, “’Designing Your Life’ walks readers through the process of building a satisfying, meaningful life by approaching the challenge the way a designer would. Experimentation. Wayfinding. Prototyping. Constant iteration. You should read the book. Everyone else will.”

And you really should!

Even though it may not be as innovative as Burnett and Evans try to point out, it is, nevertheless, a great manual, combining numerous surefire strategies suggested by similar books and inspiring authors into one comprehensible guidebook on how to finally start living your life.

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Feeling Good PDF Summary

Feeling Good PDF SummaryThe New Mood Therapy: The Clinically Proven Drug-Free Treatment for Depression

If you suffer from some mild form of depression – or even anxiety, PTSD and substance abuse – “Feeling Good” can help you possibly even more than medications.

But even if you suffer from major depressive disorder, please read this book and use its suggestions in combination with your medications.

It does help.

Who Should Read “Feeling Good”? And Why?

According to the World Health Organization, 300 million people around the world suffer from depression. In more comprehensible terms, that is almost equal to the whole population of the United States, and it amounts to about 1 in every 25 people!

If you are one of them, “Feeling Good” is certainly a book that should be on your radar. It’s the book which basically introduced the world to cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), according to Wikipedia, “the most widely used evidence-based practice at improving mental health.”

Which means that Burns’ subtitle is not an exaggeration.

We certainly hope the same will prove true in your case as well.

About David D. Burns

David D. BurnsDavid D. Burns is an adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine.

He is primarily known as the popularizer of Aaron T. Beck’s cognitive behavioral therapy through his “Feeling Good” bestselling series of books.

Burns is the recipient of numerous awards and honors.

“Feeling Good PDF Summary”

About half a century ago, David D. Burns received an M.D. from the Stanford University School of Medicine. Three years later, he went to the University of Pennsylvania to start his training as a psychiatric resident.

Fortunately for him, a guy named Aaron T. Beck, now regarded as “the father of cognitive therapy,” was doing his pioneering work in the field during these very years.

Contrary to what Freud and most psychoanalytic approaches taught at that time, Beck was all but certain that depression wasn’t an emotional state, but a cognitive problem.

He devised this theory by working closely with depressed people and realizing that most of them had actually a lot of friends and had managed to achieve a lot in life but were still stuck in an emotional prison which made them feel as “losers” and “loved-by-no-one” outcasts.

Now, how could that be? – Beck thought.

Or, to rephrase that, if an emotion is an uncontrollable natural reaction to an external event, then why are some people so unhappy even though, rationally examined, the events which trigger this unhappiness are, at worst, agreeable?

His answer: because thoughts predate – and, even more, create – feelings.

And that’s the first of the three principles of cognitive behavioral therapy:

#1. To formulate it once again, this time in the words of Burns, “all your moods are created by your ‘cognitions,’ or thoughts.”
#2. Consequently, depression is nothing more but the result of negative thinking, i.e., “when you are feeling depressed, your thoughts are dominated by a pervasive negativity.”
#3. Your negative thoughts function the same way the mirrors in amusement parks do: “negative thoughts which cause your emotional turmoil nearly always contain gross distortions.”

To sum up – no matter how naïve it may sound:

Every bad feeling you have is the result of your distorted negative thinking.

Now, since feelings, in turn, influence your thoughts, depression is actually the result of a wicked Catch-22: the worse you feel, the more grotesque and misleading your thoughts are, which creates even more depressing and dispiriting feelings.

Fortunately, there is a way out?

So, “what is the key to releasing yourself from your emotional prison?”

Simply this: Your thoughts create your emotions; therefore, your emotions cannot prove that your thoughts are accurate. Unpleasant feelings merely indicate that you are thinking something negative and believing it. Your emotions follow your thoughts just as surely as baby ducks follow their mother.

In simpler words, according to cognitive behavioral therapists, depression is not an emotional disorder, but a thinking problem.

And can be solved by challenging the suffering person’s negative thoughts, i.e., cognitive distortions.

Burns lists eleven of them:

#1. All-or-Nothing Thinking. Technically known as “dichotomous thinking,” all-or-nothing thinking is when you portray yourself in black-or-white terms. It’s obviously not true that it’s worthless if it’s not perfect.

#2. Overgeneralization. If something happened to you once, it doesn’t mean it will happen to you again. And even if it happened to you twice, the third time may be the charm!

#3. Mental Filter. Also known as “selective abstraction,” mental filtering means being unhappy because of that lost point on your exam even though you got an A. Really?!

#4. Disqualifying the Positive. Nothing good ever happens to you? How about the fact that your boyfriend kissed you lovingly this morning, or that you were promoted just a week ago! All of that matters!

#5. Jumping to Conclusions. This can come in at least two different forms: as mind-reading (“I know she doesn’t like me…”) or fortune telling (“I can feel something’s bad about to happen!”)

#6. Magnification. This is when you start worrying about your lifetime reputation because everyone saw you spilled your coffee on your shirt this morning. Also known as – somewhat unscientifically, but quite fittingly – “catastrophizing.”

#7. Minimization. Ah, the other side of the “binocular trick”: shrinking things until they become insignificant, be they other people’s imperfections or your own qualities.

#8. Emotional Reasoning. Your emotions are not true; if they were, then how would you explain the fact that you wanted to smack your sister on the head with a frying pan that time she invaded the privacy of your room? Consequently, if you feel like a dud, that doesn’t mean you are a dud.

#9. Should Statements. This is when you try to improperly motivate yourself by saying “I should do this” or “I must do this.”

#10. (Mis)Labeling. “Personal labeling,” writes Burns, “means creating a completely negative self-image based on your errors. Mislabeling involves describing an event with words that are inaccurate and emotionally heavily loaded.”

#11. Personalization. Personalization means assuming personal responsibility for an event contrary to the evidence. Burns calls this distortion “the mother of guilt.”

If you want to learn more about cognitive distortions, read here.

And then start doing something about them!

Key Lessons from “Feeling Good”

1.      Your Feelings Are Actually Mirroring Your Thoughts
2.      The Three Principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
3.      The Real Founder of CBT: Epictetus

Your Feelings Are Actually Mirroring Your Thoughts

Most people think that they should believe their gut.

In other words, that if their feelings tell them that something is true – this guy is bad, that girl is the love of my life – it is inevitably true.

The problem?

Feelings are not merely transitory, but they are also just a reflection of your thoughts.

Consequently, almost all of your bad feelings are actually negative thoughts.

The Three Principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), an evidence-based practice for improving your mental health, is based on three principles first developed by Aaron T. Beck:

#1. Our emotions are created by our thoughts; how you are feeling at the moment is actually the same as what you are currently thinking about;
#2. Depression is an emotional prison created by constant negative thoughts;
#3. The majority of our negative thoughts are not true, i.e., they are cognitive distortions.

The Real Founder of CBT: Epictetus

As Burns points out, CBT is actually as old as philosophy, since it shares some of its beliefs with Stoicism.

In other words, thinkers as ancient as Epictetus realized that our happiness doesn’t depend on the external events themselves, but on the way we decide to feel about them.

So, if you are feeling depressed, find some solace in Marcus Aurelius’ “Meditations” or Seneca’s “On the Shortness of Life.”

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Feeling Good Quotes”

Every bad feeling you have is the result of your distorted negative thinking. Click To Tweet Your thoughts create your emotions; therefore, your emotions cannot prove that your thoughts are accurate. Click To Tweet Your feelings result from the meaning you give to the event, not from the event itself. Click To Tweet Every time you feel depressed about something, try to identify a corresponding negative thought you had just prior to and during the depression. Click To Tweet By learning to restructure (your negative thoughts), you can change your mood. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

When a book is written with an objective to help you, the only question that really matters is “does it in practice?”

A 1989 article says it does. And a 2005 study published in the “British Journal of General Practice” confirms this.

It’s something scientists call “bibliotherapy” and we strongly advise you to try it by reading this very book.

At worst, it has no side-effects.

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Love & Respect PDF Summary

Love & Respect PDF SummaryThe Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

Do you speak the language of love?

Or, let us rephrase that: do you know that in the dictionary of women, relationship is spelled C-O-U-P-L-E and in the dictionary of men, it is spelled C-H-A-I-R-S?

Wait… what?

Read our summary of “Love & Respect” to find out!

Who Should Read “Love & Respect”? And Why?

“Love & Respect” is a book everyone should read: couples who argue because they argue, couples who don’t because there’s a very high chance that they will (come on, guys, you’re barely in the second month of your relationship; it’s a bit different later on).

Due to its Christian undertones in the first two parts and explicit Christian message in the last one, “Love & Respect” will probably be enjoyed the most by religious couples of almost any Christian denominations.

About Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson EggerichsDr. Emerson Eggerichs is the author of the “Love & Respect” series of books and the president of Love and Respect Ministries.

After obtaining a B.A. in Biblical studies, an M.A. in Communications, and a Master of Divinity degree from Dubuque Seminary, Eggerichs worked as a senior pastor of East Lansing’s Trinity Church for almost two decades.

In the meantime, he received a Ph.D. in Child and Family ecology from Michigan State University and authored his most famous book, “Love & Respect.”

He gives marriage conferences throughout the country and works closely with his wife Sarah, with whom he has lived in a happy marriage for almost half a century.

“Love & Respect PDF Summary”

“Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,” instructs the men St. Paul the Apostle in his “Epistle to the Ephesians,” “and the wife must respect her husband.”

According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, in that very verse, the Bible says more about relationships than all the great poets, philosophers, and researchers who have ever lived or will ever be born.

And that is because, in his opinion, love and respect are the primary emotional needs of women and men respectively, which makes them as necessary to the wellbeing of each respective gender as air or food:

Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect.

True, Eggerichs doesn’t go that much into original psychological or scientific explanation as to why this should be true, but he offers numerous examples to prove his point, in addition to a supposedly surefire strategy to put it into practice and reap the rewards for your efforts.

Accordingly, the book itself is divided into three main sections:

PART ONE: THE CRAZY CYCLE

This is the theoretical section, analyzing in much more detail St. Paul’s above-quoted verse, and illustrating how all unhappy families are, in fact, unhappy in the same way, since they are all trapped in the identical no love/no respect succession of arguments.

This is, in a nutshell, the Crazy Cycle from the title: without love, she reacts in a disrespectful way; without respect, he reacts in an unloving way.

Why?

Because unlike women who usually see the world through pink sunglasses, men most often use blue sunglasses.

When men and women argue, these differing points of view escalate to the point of no return (Even Wittgenstein would say that we don’t visualize the meaning of words in the same way…)

PART TWO: THE ENERGIZING CYCLE

The only way to stop the Crazy Cycle spinning is to reverse it!

Because just the way a woman’s disrespect demotivates a man’s love and vice versa,

His love motivates her respect; her respect motivates his love.

So, in probably the most important section of his book, Dr. Eggerichs offers two strategies to energize the cycle of marriage: C-O-U-P-L-E for the men, and C-H-A-I-R-S for the women.

C-O-U-P-L-E: How to Spell Love to Your Wife

Closeness: She wants you to be close.
Openness: She wants you to open up to her.
Understanding: Don’t try to fix her; just listen.
Peacemaking: She wants you to say, “I’m sorry.”
Loyalty: She needs to know you’re committed.
Esteem: She wants you to honor and cherish her.

C-H-A-I-R-S: How to Spell Respect to Your Husband

Conquest: Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.
Hierarchy: Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.
Authority: Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.
Insight: Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel.
Relationship: Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.
Sexuality: Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy.

As Dr. Eggerichs concludes in the last chapter of this part, “the energizing cycle will work if you do.”

In other words, since everybody needs to be loved, love cannot be a passive activity. And as John Gottman demonstrated, marriages succeed not because couples don’t argue, but because they find a way to reach a compromise.

For the men, a compromise might mean listening to their girlfriends or wives and not trying to fix them; for the women, it may mean acting vulnerable and agreeing to be led.

But there’s no going forward unless both sides leave some of their burdens behind.

Your job, regardless of your spouse’s doings?

To “be the first to ‘seek peace and pursue it’ (1 Peter 3:11).”

PART THREE: THE REWARDED CYCLE

In the final part of his book, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that there is another cycle following the energizing one, and this one is the cycle where both partners uncover the real reason why they should love.

Since Dr. Eggerichs is a Christian author, it’s only expected that the reason is none other than God Himself.

If you love someone because you believe Paul’s words the greatest of all things is love (1 Corinthians 13:13), then you can truly love someone, regardless of how much she respects you (if you are a man) or how much he loves you back (if you are a woman).

The rewarded cycle is the cycle where “His love blesses regardless of her respect, and her respect blesses regardless of his love.”

Key Lessons from “Love & Respect”

1.      The Crazy Cycle is the No Love/No Respect Doom of All Marriages
2.      A Woman Wants to Be in a C-O-U-P-L-E
3.      A Man Needs His C-H-A-I-R-S

The Crazy Cycle is the No Love/No Respect Doom of All Marriages

If you are in a relationship and you have a lot of arguments with your partner, there’s a high chance that this is due the fact that you think that she doesn’t respect you (if you are a man) or that he doesn’t love you (if you are a woman).

It’s a crazy cycle this one, since once any of you two sets it off, it’s very difficult to stop it.

Why?

Because if the man shows no love, it makes the woman act in a disrespectful way, which encourages the man to act in a loveless manner.

A Woman Wants to Be in a C-O-U-P-L-E

To stop the crazy cycle, you need to energize your relationship.

If you are a man, show your woman that you are a C-O-U-P-L-E.

In other words, be close and open up to her; understand her and try to be the peacemaker in the relationship; finally, show her that you are loyal and that you esteem her highly.

A Man Needs His C-H-A-I-R-S

OK, it may sound a little bit funny in a title, but it’s not at all funny once you break down that acronym!

So, if you are a woman, always make your man feel like a conqueror and appreciate his desire to be the best at everything and above you in all hierarchies (even though, let’s face it, you’re way better than him: wink, wink); next, respect his authority and value his insight.

Finally, appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder relationship and, let’s face it, his needs for sexual intimacy.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Love & Respect Quotes”

No husband feels affection toward a wife who appears to have contempt for who he is as a human being. The key to creating fond feelings of love in a husband toward his wife is through showing him unconditional respect. Click To Tweet When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband. Click To Tweet Forgiving is the direct opposite of judging. Nothing is easier than judging, nothing is harder than forgiving, and nothing can reap more blessings. Click To Tweet Women confront to connect. The typical response from a man, however, is that he thinks his wife is confronting to control. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

“Love & Respect” puts too many chips on one bet and it may be a bit too Christian for some people’s taste.

However, other than that, it’s actually very balanced, and it provides readers of all genders with valuable insight about the common failings of all relationships and even more valuable tools to repair them.

If it is up to us, though, love and respect go hand in hand, and all sexes need large quantities of them both.

www.pdf24.org    Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF: