8 min read ⌚ 

A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals

Due to social pressure, bad habits, or simply self-esteem issues, we tend to walk away from challenges.

Although Rachel puts the emphasis on women, this is accurate for both sexes.

Achieving your goals, or following your dreams meets its greatest nemesis – doubt & shame.

Let’s find the antidote.

Who Should Read “Girl, Stop Apologizing”? And Why?

Evidently, “Girl, Stop Apologizing” is intended for the female audience, because it empowers women to take hold of their life.

In the process, Rachel blames no other than the “I” itself, which is filled with concepts that hinder this growth.

Stop apologizing, and accept the shame-free plan!

About Rachel Hollis

Rachel Hollis made headlines with Girl, Wash Your Face which remained on the best-selling position for almost an entire year.

Apart from being a writer, she is also a TV personality, motivational speaker, and a mother of four.

“Girl, Stop Apologizing PDF Summary”

What if you are not compelled to please anyone about anything?

Does that seem too harsh?

It’s okay to admit that – we all probably pretend to be endorsing the claim that opinions of others don’t matter to us, but more often than not we find ourselves hurt by them.

Even Rachel doesn’t always succeed in discarding the impulses coming from the other side of the fence.

So, the key thing is not to have this sense of guilt for whatever you want to accomplish!

Nonetheless, whatever dream you have, sooner or later is going to be questioned.

Your only responsibility is to make sure that the environment and people around you, will not shatter it.

Rachel points out that a large percentage of women lack self-appreciation and the wits needed to hold onto their vision of themselves.

They occasionally talk themselves out of their own dreams, while clinging to some shallow excuse.

Excuse #1 – That’s Not What Other Women Do

Any dream starts with a simple question and soon enters into the planning stage, where it often fades away.

There are a lot of “What Ifs,” which if properly understood could signify the beginning of a new era.

Let’s take a hypothetical overview on this matter.

Can you imagine what could happen if only 5% of all women, embraced the “What If” mentality? This outlook on life is composed of self-respect, dignity, and willingness to push the boundaries.

Do you have any idea on how cheerful, and self-fulfilled these women would be?

And yet, we are taught that women should feel guilty about something they want to achieve. Don’t blame society just yet, because Rachel identifies a culprit from within, and that’s what you should do as well.

By the same token, there are some people who love to procrastinate and others who can be labeled as overachievers.

In which category do you fall into?

Unfortunately, as we said, many women still suffer from other people’s opinions. It’s so ingrained in them that even resisting this notion seems like a tougher nut to crack than merely accepting it and move on.

Let’s cut to the chase!

First off, you need to understand that being at the helm, doesn’t come absent sacrifice.

Rachel asserts that embracing personal responsibility as a child leads to better execution as an adult.

It goes without saying that identification with something starts when we are toddlers.

In other words, we are taught that pretending to be somebody other than yourself is how things unfold.

Living a double life was no exception to Rachel.

So many things were wrapped into this lifestyle, that seemed as if pursuing her goals was like a fantasy that’s not worthy of her energy.

As a consequence of that, she decided to bury her dreams deep inside her, never to allow them to flourish at the very least.

It took Rachel almost four years to initiate significant changes regarding her dreams.

At one point, she started questioning her life choices and began seriously ruminating on other possibilities.

Blogging was trendy, and she decided to give it a go.

When she started blogging, Rachel already had an event-planning firm in downtown LA, and a pretty successful one to say the least.

Rachel admits that at the outset of this transition, she didn’t know what the heck to do. So, Rachel wrote casual posts about her daily life and took random pictures.

With time, business began to emerge out of the shadows.

But one day, all hell broke loose.

People who were following her discovered that she wasn’t, in fact, a stay-at-home mom (in the traditional sense).

She had help with regards to content production and editing, and her husband also helped her out a lot.

In the meantime, a group of angry followers attacked her for having a nanny, because they felt betrayed. On the other end of the line, Rachel was shocked to see and eventually understand that people perceive others in a way that correlates with their self-image.

So many years have passed, and Rachel still felt this remorse for not being able to battle her way through life.

The transition took place when she stopped apologizing for her life-choices.

While growing up, she noticed that society determines your value based on the selection of traits that describe perfect male or female behavior.

Excuse #2 – I am Not a Goal-Oriented Person

I am not a goal-digger – (some gal)

You better read that twice, so that you digest it a bit better.

If you think about it, a dream is nothing but a goal, that still hasn’t reached the implementation phase.

Unlike dreams, goals tend to be more specific, or you might say that the ideas are coming your way.

Without action, or steps leading to the achievement of those goals; encouragement and positivity are utterly worthless.

It may sound like a cliché, but if you have low self-esteem and if you don’t trust in your ability to make changes, then you really won’t be able to handle the heat.

Excuse #3 – I Don’t Have Time

This false argument is something that most people can relate to.

Well, here’s the cure to this issue.

You don’t need to find time to make things work; you’d have to take the time yourself that will bring those goals within reach.

Excuse #4 – I am Not Enough to Succeed

Even the smartest people at some point in their lives had this feeling of worthlessness.

Rachel calls out the voice in our heads that can also be labeled as the blabbermouth who finds joy in pointing out all the flaws that manifest your triviality.

Fight it, and don’t allow it to make you feel like crap.

Excuse #5 – I Can’t Pursue My Dream and Still Be a Good Mom/Daughter/Employee

This is a very common fear.

It’s like we feel guilty for putting our own interests above everyone else’s.

Even though the people have different priorities and one can’t argue otherwise, it’s of exponential value to put your happiness upfront.

Then, you’ll be of better service to the people around you!

Excuse #6 – I am Terrified of Failure

Well, who isn’t?

But is that a legitimate reason for abandoning your dreams and not giving it a shot regardless of how stupid it seems?

Absolutely not!

Tell everybody about your endeavors, and the pressure itself will make you perform better. Don’t shy away from having that extra burden on your shoulders, and keep your dreams afloat.

Excuse #7 – It’s Been Done Before

Some smarter person has already built that app, started that non-profit, created a similar company, wrote a similar book – I can go on.

Just imagine the idiocy here – you are literally blocking yourself out of your true self, without even attempting to question your position.

Excuse #8 – What Will They Think

In all honesty, their opinion is their business, not yours.

With that said, why we get hurt all the time by shallow and often mean comments?

You want to know the dirty secret?

It’s not the fear of failure that keeps you down, but what others will think of you once you fail!

Excuse #9 – Good Girls Don’t Hustle

You know better than anybody else what you are!

Rachel doesn’t disparage women with a more traditional sense who prefer the quiet life.

On the contrary, she values choice, and the choice you make is going to be your ticket way out.

In the next part, Rachel tells us which behaviors we ought to adopt.

Behavior #1 – Stop Asking Permission

Do we need to say more?

Your behavior is basically the reflection of your inner-perception of yourself.

Grown-up women shouldn’t ask for permission to do anything within the confines of morally-acceptable action.

It’s not rocket science to learn how to prioritize your tasks, and take pleasure in everything.

Behavior #2 – Choose One Dream and Go All In

Being a scatterbrain won’t do you any good!

According to Rachel, you can only focus on a single goal and making it work.

If there is no plan B, you’d be much more motivated to achieve your dreams, and climb up the ladder.

Behavior #3 – Embrace Your Ambition

These days, we bear witness to people who are scolded for being too ambitious. Women, generally speaking, receive criticism for having that burning desire to prosper in the material sense.

However, there are serious issues with failing to spot the signs of workaholism.

Taking the middle route is probably your best bet.

Behavior #4 – Ask for Help!

Sorry, but it’s impossible to do everything yourself, and there’s no shame in asking for an extra hand.

Getting to the next level requires training, experience, and time.

Rachel realized that there aren’t self-made successes, because one way or the other, you must rely on somebody!

Behavior #5 – Build Foundations for Success

It doesn’t matter whether you have the knowledge and the passion for achieving your dreams; if the daily timetable is there to sabotage your next move.

Let’s cover up a few things that could help you in the execution of this step:

• Hydration
• Wake up Earlier (1-hour)
• Give Up on One Category of Food (For Thirty Days)
• Move Your Body Every Day
• Practice Gratitude

Behavior #6 – Stop Allowing Them To Talk You Out of It

A thing that happens, a lot!

More often than not, the people discouraging you from moving on, are those from your closest circle.

Allowing someone to take control of what you do, truly is a recipe for imminent catastrophe.

You’ve got to break the habit of listening to what other people think about your plans.

Behavior #7 – Learn To Say No

Rachel has been taught or better yet, programmed to “love” certain things that she actually hated doing.

Nowadays, she prefers the brutally honest perspective that gives her enough freedom to make up her own mind and set up her schedule.

If you don’t like something – just say NO.

And to achieve all of this, you would need the following skillset:

• Planning
• Confidence
• Persistence
• Effectiveness
• Positivity
• Leadership

Key Lessons from “Girl, Stop Apologizing”

1.      Girls, You Can Make It
2.      Keep the Chin Up
3.      Embrace the Pressure

Girls, You Can Make it

After everything we said, this is an obvious conclusion.

Even if you feel like an underdog, no force in the world can stop a person who has no plan B in their pocket.

Just go for it!

Keep the Chin Up

People around you might not accept this transition.

It’s tough to keep your composure when nothing goes in your favor, but then again, you must find that resilience and perseverance to go through it.

Remember, don’t be a pushover.

Embrace the Pressure

A lot of times, you’d feel like giving up, but remember that Rachel failed more times than she could remember.

The magic lies in attempting, over and over again.

Don’t run away when things go South, because the sun always comes up after a storm.

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“Girl, Stop Apologizing Quotes”

Our Critical Review

Last but not least, Rachel advises you to embrace uncertainty and enter into beast mode!

Get into the right frame of mind, and tackle the elements which may impede your ascension.

On top of that, don’t forget to visualize the best version of yourself to make quicker progress.

Emir Zecovic

Emir is the Head of Marketing at 12min. In his spare time, he loves to meditate and play soccer.