8 min read ⌚ 

Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength

Although not for the first time; we’ve been bombarded with false narratives regarding the status of introverts.

And yes, we are not perpetuating yet another victim-cult mentality, only raising awareness to help the vast majority of people who struggle to blend in.

Yes, you can make up your mind without being pointed at, as a weirdo.

Who Should Read “Introvert Power”? And Why?

Despite the false information swarming the media that introverts are the minority in Western countries, Laurie managed to unearth the real story.

According to a lot of research and statistics, introverts make up more than half of the population, and they are most-definitely misrepresented.

So, this social bias that occurs must be put under scrutiny, for us to understand why are we treating them as underdogs.

With that said, we believe that “Introvert Power” is empowering to those who feel like the system is rigged toward them.

However, we don’t believe that playing the victim card would do you any good!

About Laurie Helgoe

Laurie Helgoe is an American psychologist personal development coach and an author.

She was praised and awarded by Publishers Weekly for debunking the myth of introversion and extroversion.

Laurie has also appeared on several TV & Radio Shows.

“Introvert Power PDF Summary”

Many people struggle to blend into society, especially when their form of expression is not in line with the curve of the culture.

America, for example, is probably the world’s richest country in terms of diversity, freedom, opportunities, etc. But is the US shifting its culture with regards to competition, and more importantly attitude?

Probably not, but introversion is no longer taboo, and is no longer regarded as a secondary phenomenon.

Well, when you dragged into this combative workforce, introverts do feel threatened and uncomfortable.

When introverts sense that someone is trying to break their defensive perimeter, they have three options:

• Fight against the intruders
• Back away and keep your cool
• Practice extroversion

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is embedded in the research methodology that covers the effects of introversion and extroversion.

The most misleading aspect incorporated in this research was the idea that Introverts make up the minority of modern Western societies. Approximately, every 1 in 4 is considered to be an Introvert, and another misconception that floats around is that: Introverts are quiet, scared and unwilling to take chances.

From an early age, we receive schooling regarding social norms, and how to behave.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that we are compelled to act in a given manner, but more so to capitalize on the extrovert traits.

So, what’s the main issue related to introversion?

They are not so easily understood since they hide most of the stuff inside, and have no urge to show off in front of other people.

According to Laurie, one of the biggest misconceptions regarding introverts is the one that they are anti-social.

In comparison to extroverts who look for answers on the outside, introverts tend to care about human condition, but inwardly.

For instance, traits that describe a sociopath are not anger and bitterness, but charm showcased outwardly. However, they feel no sympathy toward their intended victims, so it’s more than evident that categorizing introverts as anti-social is utterly preposterous.

The difference between solitude and loneliness

After a long and exhausting week, you can finally take some time off on a cold Friday night. You decide to go to the bookstore, pick an exciting novel, recline on the sofa, curl up, enjoy your time and recharge your batteries.

But on the way there, you bump into a friend who invites you to a party.

Your facial expression reveals that you are not up for the offer, but out of fear of judgment, you accept. Once there, you begin to question your decision and feel how everyone is validating your choice except you. You dread being labeled as some anti-social type of person, even at the expense of your own preferences.

Association is productive, no matter what, they say.

You would much rather have a thoughtful conversion about a book that you’ve read, or just sit in silence contemplating about life.

However, this choice is not well-received by society.

Laurie puts it perfectly by stating that:

Where there is too much input, the introvert misses its mind, its subjectivity, its freedom, its very potential.

And there’s no difference between the sexes, the same is true.

How would you interpret this situation? As a display of loneliness or solitude?

When it comes to friends, we are often told: The more, the better.

Solitude is regarded as a manifestation of depression, and failure. Throughout life, you are encouraged to hang out with people, to expand your network, to nurture family values, to abide by these norms, and never ever deviate from this pathway.

• More friends=more fun
• More fun=better life

Well, that’s not even kind of close.

Let us expand on why solitude is, by all means, a mystery and a problem to society!

In a competitive culture and workforce, your main asset is knowing what the competition is planning. But how can you come out a winner if your competitors don’t allow you in?

You would have to make assumptions without any information to back up your decision-making.

Now, you can begin to understand why solitude is a great source of power and a pain in the ass to those who want to dominate you.

You can hear it on the news when introverts commit serious crimes and get a lot of public attention. This backlash is later used to demonize introverts and denigrate their self-expression.

However, they fail to mention that perpetrators and sociopaths are externally oriented. They see destruction as a way of dealing with their inner chaos for which they cannot find an antidote.

It stands to reason why most introverts are perceived as aliens; unhinged individuals – walking on eggshells.

But that’s not true!

If you look at sci-fiction movies, aliens are often associated with intruders or unwanted visitors.

So, the only thing an introvert can do is choose between:

– Staying faithful to yourself, and risk being labeled or discarded by society
– Adapt to the social norms, and fall victim to the self-alienation

Which one is the lesser evil?

The strange thing is, more than half of the population are introverts. And people act with disbelief when they hear this.

Inasmuch as we all like to live in one society, and garner the support from our community, it’s hard to maintain a homogeneous mindset.

And we all know that there’s nothing more frightful than an independent thinker.

Case in point, the Russian Revolution.

And, in the aftermath of the revolution, people witnessed the horrors of the thought that drove their utterances.

Introverts want leeway to make up their own minds, but they often fell into disfavor which further crumbles their outward appearance.

They are not prompted but forced to act in a way that is deemed suitable by the so-called majority, which is utter nonsense.

The paradox is presented as a clash between the desire and death model.

Desire or urge, when appropriately initiated, can’t be stopped, and it propels itself.

The holding capacity or the ability to withstand pressure and still work your way through life is the epitome of introversion.

So, what’s the step-by-step process, let’s dig in:

• Step 1: Capture your wishful thinking
• Step 2: Look into the desire
• Step 3: Fantasize
• Step 4: Allow new and conflicting desires
• Step 5: Allow fulfillment

It may not come as a shock to you, but introverts are much more in tune with the intrinsic qualities of oneself.

And yes, if you are an introvert, you have the right to back down and not follow the norms imposed upon you. Escaping can be difficult, but it’s also expedient, and you’ll rarely have other option to maintain your comfort.

According to the desire-based model, there are several questions worth answering:

• Where are you? What setting are you in?
• Are you involved in an activity or just hanging out?
• Are you involved in an activity?
• How do you communicate?
• What do you appreciate about this friend or friends?
• What do you appreciate about this friend or What are you learning from the friend(s)?
• What does this friend(s) appreciate about you?
• What feelings do you have when you are together?
• What can you share with this person?
• What passions or interests do you have in common?

Different Approach

It may seem strange, but introverts do find a lot of support in being around animals and enjoying nature. Sometimes, it is for the better to avoid human interactions altogether, for the sake of preserving your inner peace.

They won’t start off a conversation with some meaningless pickup line, or simply to fill in the void. They would much rather be engrossed in a dialogue by sharing something meaningful that could actually make a difference.

If you tone it down, you might listen to what introverts are saying, even when their lips are not moving.

Ann Landers makes a point by saying the following thing:

At every party, there are two kinds of people—those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

And yes, many people feel reluctant to avow their anti-party sentiment, mostly out of fear.

In all honesty, it’s hard for some extroverts to understand how overwhelming a party can be to introverts. If you recall similar situations, you know how hard you’ve tried to make them stay a bit longer, but you weren’t able to make them love the noisy gathering.

As an introvert, you should learn to say “No,” and stand your ground.

Some introverts have a hard time working with many people and being deprived of privacy. Then again, you can’t control the company’s policies, but being a part of an environment that is too clamorous can impede your creativity and make you less productive.

With that said, the corporate environment is rarely if ever, adjusted to them.

And most importantly, introverts always blame themselves and internalize their problems.

Key Lessons from “Introvert Power”

1.      Get right into the fight
2.      Don’t follow the self-alienation mentality
3.      Capitalize on introversion

Get right into the fight

Well, we are not advising you to throw fists at people for not understanding your position.

We are merely implying that you don’t have to subdue your basic instincts in order to fit into a certain community.

Get into the right shape of mind and fight to preserve your peace.

Don’t follow the self-alienation mentality

What do we mean by that?

If at some point, you decide to throw away your desires, and simply adapt to the environment, you’ll only activate the self-alienation process.

It doesn’t work to your benefit and only makes you miserable.

Capitalize on introversion

Despite what society says – introverts are immensely creative.

Don’t squander this opportunity by feeling guilty for your desire to remain in solitude.

Follow your passion, and if something doesn’t work for you, just abandon it!

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“Introvert Power Quotes”

Our Critical Review

We are glad that now you can hear the other side of the story.

Introverts had a tough time with regards to socialization and acceptance, not because extroverts did something to them, but because we as a society failed to understand their perspective.

For precisely that reason, we reckon that this book is very enlightening.

Emir Zecovic

Emir is the Head of Marketing at 12min. In his spare time, he loves to meditate and play soccer.