5 min read ⌚
By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much
The art of negotiation can be learned.
Below, we give you the fundamental principles you need to follow to become better at the negotiators’ table.
Who Should Read “Negotiate This”? and Why?
We recommend it to all readers who feel they would benefit from becoming better negotiators – even if it comes to simple everyday situations such as negotiating the salary.
About Herb Cohen
Herb Cohen is an author, negotiation expert and strategy consultant.
“Negotiate This Summary”
Of course, we do not say that it is a game meaning that it is not serious, but meaning that it involves specific rules which, if you follow, you will be at the winning side most of the time.
Whenever you sit on the negotiating table, use psychology.
You need to walk in with an attitude that you are in charge, that you are the one that has options to choose from, and that you do not depend on that particular negotiation.
If people think that you can easily walk away and you have nothing to lose, they will act differently.
Keep emotional distance, and watch and assess the situation like you are an objective observer.
Do not involve personal matters inside the negotiation. Also, do not have too big expectations. The negotiation will have a much better outcome if you are open to more options.
The detachment and objectivity will help you anticipate actions and arguments before they happen, and you will more likely step aside and keep them pass, keeping the negotiations on the table.
Do not worry. The more experience you get, the easier the process of evaluating the situation will become.
Now, to become a better negotiator, you need to understand that the final objective of negotiating is for both parties to say “yes.” In a perfect scenario, the situation after the negotiation will be better for both parties.
However, although the common goal is of a positive nature, during each negotiation, there are conflicts. In such cases, it is essential that both parties remain in the talks, trying to figure out their point of shared interest.
To be able to find a solution which is in the best interest of both sides on the negotiation table, you need to try to walk in your counterpart’s shoes, and see the world from their point of view.
Control your reactions and think really hard before you react in some way. Hear what the other party has to say – take notes and make sure you have heard it all correctly before you reply.
If their arguments are rational, think about accepting them; or giving equally logical counter-arguments as well.
Note that although you may be objective during the negotiations, it does not mean that those sitting on the opposite side will not be emotional or ruled by old habits.
The essential thing a negotiator needs to be equipped with is patience.
Be slow. Ask questions. Ask for information to be repeated. Ask explanations.
Also, always try to work with a partner. Making a decision alone will burden you more. If you have to do it alone, give yourself some time to discuss the decision over with someone before you shake hands.
Another thing that you should remember is that no matter how difficult your counterpart seems to be, you have to stay cooperative and respectful even at times when you don’t feel like it.
Always be the bigger man. No matter what the situation makes, you feel like.
In our key lessons, we cover the ten principles of successful negotiating.
So, read on.
Key Lessons from “Negotiate This”:
1. Setting Objectives
2. Making ‘How’ Concessions
3. Open with Commonality
4. The Titanic principle
5. The Ping-Pong Table Theory of Life
6. Broadening the Gauge
7. The Vail Condo
8. Make ’em Work
9. You Owe Me an Apology
10. Closing the deal
Before you start the negotiations, always set specific goals and make a list of your priorities.
Making ‘How’ Concessions
If the negotiation hits a plateau, make a concession which is not connected to your goal, but to the negotiation process.
Open with Commonality
Try to find common ground with your counterpart, even if it means talking about the weather. Small talk will create a connection before you start the actual negotiation.
The Titanic principle
Always try to look at the root of the offers the other party gives you, instead of just instinctively reacting to the tip of the iceberg.
The Ping-Pong Table Theory of Life
People want what they want because of how those things fulfill their emotional needs. Whenever you think that the goals of the other party do not make sense, think of this principle.
Broadening the Gauge
Research as much as you can, since the more information you have, the more bargaining power you have as well.
The Vail Condo
A continuation of the previous principle, sometimes the information you have about your counterpart can take you to forming a much better offer.
Make ’em Work”
Even if you agree from the very beginning, make your counterparts work for the concession.
You Owe Me an Apology
If you do something that asks for an apology, like for example losing your temper, apologize. Do not consider it as a weakness.
Closing the Deal
Finally, when you feel that it is time to move on, there comes a time when you close the deal.
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“Negotiate This” QuotesWe seem forever absorbed in trying to get others to agree with us. Click To Tweet Almost without exception you don’t change people’s behavior through rhetoric but only by altering their ways of looking at things. Click To Tweet I am not a paciﬁst, nor one who believes in the sacriﬁce of ethical principles and values for the expediency of even a proﬁtable deal. Click To Tweet Following the trite counsel of keeping your nose to the grindstone merely guarantees a short, bloody nose. Click To Tweet While seeking our own satisfaction, we must come to terms with the contrary preferences and desires of others. In a negotiation, there’s always at least one other participant, and rules or at least etiquette of play. Click To Tweet
Our Critical Review
“Negotiate This” is an entertaining book, which can teach you a thing or two, although you may find that it is a bit loosely structured.