How We Meet and Why It Matters
Yeah, even the subtitle can be construed as some dating-call, but it’s a far cry from the actual truth. It outlines the unquenchable thirst for social interaction and correspondence among people in general.
Truthfully, it’s entirely ignorant to neglect this inner pull for going along with the flow of nature.
In this book summary, you’ll get a closer look at the art of gathering, and why it’s so essential in today’s society.
Who Should Read “The Art of Gathering”? And Why?
Well, while reading this book we really didn’t know what to expect due to our limited knowledge in this particular realm. But, as we were progressing through the book, we realized the absolute necessity of creating gatherings especially if your success depends on connecting with people.
In that regard, it’s safe to say that “The Art of Gathering” is well-suited for any person who wants to meld with different people.
As such, we find it immensely educational in terms of helping you arrange these sessions.
About Priya Parker
Priya Parker can be regarded as a strategic advisor, an author, and the founder of Thrive Labs. She exerts herself to help various clients, officials, corporate executives and others to organize transformative gatherings.
So far, she’s been a valuable contributor in all sorts of fields such as arts, technology, business, fashion, politics, to name a few.
“The Art of Gathering PDF Summary”
Many people wonder – what’s the fuss behind the gatherings, the birthdays, the proms? There are plenty of different reasons that Priya believes are noteworthy such as solving problems we can’t solve on our own, to crack a bottle of wine to celebrate something, but the most important one of all is because we need each other.
As people in general, we make the same mistakes again and again by integrating category with purpose. There’s some tendency to lean on others when it comes to these gatherings which are taken out of the context of a joint endeavor.
We are bombarded with false narratives which indicate that the category of the event will dictate the planning and purpose. Sometimes, it’s done by default, but most of the times the structure of the gathering compels us to attach some end goal.
Even if you have your own perspective, it’s hard to bring about change that doesn’t fit into the predetermined template.
However, keep in mind that by following templates and realities created by others you deprive yourself of mapping out actionable plans that could work to your benefit. In other words, if you guide yourself by these socially-imposed formats, you’ll never get to the bottom of any problem.
In all honesty, many gatherings lack that real pull because they seem vague and often times too basic.
The question is – how to overcome this stalemate? How to transform the gathering into something that could flare up the atmosphere? First and foremost, one must identify a meaningful purpose, which is a pivotal moment in this venture.
From there on, you ought to work on narrowing the purpose and making it more specified. Such a move could prevent the fire from extinguishing and keep it blazing.
The author even mentions an online platform named Meetup for creating offline gatherings. From the outset, it became clear that by specifying what’s the group all about, you’re increasing the chances of success.
Nowadays, Meetup abounds with examples of helping like-minded individuals to organize meetings.
The next ingredient that predicts success would be uniqueness. You have to understand that only originality depicts a life-altering gathering.
Sometimes, we bear witness to people who fail to determine or identify the purpose of the gathering. If you are keen on helping out, there are some things you can do to make that happen. First and foremost, you should instruct your friends or clients to transit from the what to the why.
With that said, here are a few strategies that could facilitate this transition:
- Zoom out – This step merely explains one’s reasons for organizing the whole event
- Drill, baby, drill – Keep drilling until you discover a treasure trove of beliefs which impelled you to undertake this noble procedure
In this book, Priya Parker often challenges the leaders of these gatherings to look beyond their interests and find out what problems are they addressing.
In other words, make strides to understand whether those issues are discernible, and how would the community benefit from a potential resolution.
It’s not always easy to separate your purpose from the group, but it’s something you must execute. If the whole outcome is at stake, and still there’s no clear incentive as to why people have gathered, then it’s up to you to backpedal and find the missing link.
Never forget that you are spending people’s most precious resource – time.
They would expect some value in return for giving you their trust! So, it’s best if you double check the magnetism of the message you intend to dispatch.
If somehow, you cannot single out a purpose of your gathering, then you should really consider setting up a get-together meeting in the first place. If that’s not a desirable solution, then give people their time back by planning your next gathering and making it more lucrative.
Priya says the following – PURPOSE IS YOUR BOUNCER
The angle of perception you deem legit for this kind of analysis doesn’t deviate from the fact that understanding the purpose of your gathering is crucial. If we embrace a different mentality that marginalizes the effects of selecting the right goal, then we ought to abandon gathering altogether.
To get the best out of anything, it’s crucial to spice it up. If you intend to lay the laws then, you have to deal with the ramifications of such endeavor.
It stands to reason why rules-based gatherings are formed along the lines of modern life perspectives. Monocultures can find its place in these closed circles, but it’s up to you how this categorization will take place. In that regard, one can note that pop-up rules are better suited to modern-day agenda.
The etiquette approach which is similar to the monocultural one is domineering to some extent. The somewhat arrogant outlook on the situation exhibits no tolerance with regards to how other cultures operate and run things.
It’s a set of rules that apply to a certain group which wishes to be perceived as refined.
So far, we covered why having a purpose is critical in arranging these sessions and talks. We also explained how different decisions affect different groups, and why exploring these patterns can be of use to you.
In this book, you’ll also stumble upon well-defined guides that point out how to choose a venue and guests for your gathering. It’s not tolerable to have guests whose views are totally out of keeping with the purpose of your get-together session.
When the day comes, you ought to be equipped with the right mindset to put all these things into motion.
So, what should be the next step?
If you excel at negotiation and you reckon that possessing that kind of qualities could help you in your pregame, you are not far from the truth. However, bear in mind that priming can be interpreted in a wide variety of ways, such as soliciting gifts or agreement of some sort.
The author maintains this non-breakable mindset that priming matters due to the fact that gathering is more of a social contract.
To leverage this situation, you have to be cognizant of the notion that the pregame frame is where the agreements are set in place.
Whatever way you look at it, it all comes down to the idea that every gathering has an end.
Some of the guests are sleepier, while others can go on for ages but that doesn’t change the fact that every ceremony has its limits.
You can scratch your head all day long on how to close the gathering, but that’s not going to solve anything.
It’s hard to cater to everybody’s whim, but it’s not rocket science to understand that people love to be respected. Therefore, closing the event in high fashion matters to the attendees and the host as well.
Accepting the impermanence of a gathering is part of the art.
In all honesty, openings and endings mirror one another and to some extent evaluate its effectiveness.
Key Lessons from “The Art of Gathering”
1. Get the word out
2. Keep it real
3. Look inwardly and make a connection
Get the word out
To organize these gatherings, you have to nurture strong relationships with purpose-driven communities which share similar values.
Then, it would be far easier to attract an audience that resonates with the message promoted by the speakers. On the negative side, you have to be acutely aware when defying the purpose of the gathering.
Keep it real
People love to rely on ethics in all further correspondence with other like-minded individuals. So, to build that genuine bond, you have to examine all aspects that are one way or the other linked to the session that you wish to push forward.
Remember that every event begins not when the venue is sold-out, but when they first hear about it. Keep that human connection flowing – that’s the recipe for success.
Look inwardly and make a connection
It comes as no surprise to anyone that eventually it all depends on how we make the most out of everything. It surely helps you to establish a positive connection with the people present and generate some inner value as a result of pure intentions.
It doesn’t matter whether the gathering promotes or creates room for meaning-making, because the guests will eventually try to do that on their own.
The gatherer should eventually usher them to some collective goal-undertaking procedure.
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“The Art of Gathering Quotes”Your opening needs to be a kind of pleasant shock therapy. It should grab people. And in grabbing them, it should both awe the guests and honor them. It must plant in them the paradoxical feeling of being totally welcomed and deeply… Click To Tweet Gatherings that are willing to be alienating—which is different from being alienating—have a better chance to dazzle. Click To Tweet In a group, if everybody thinks about the other person’s needs, everyone’s needs are actually fulfilled in the end. But if you only think about yourself, you are breaking that contract. Click To Tweet I reminded them that it’s hard to build a movement if you don’t know who’s in it. Click To Tweet Looking back, though, is just one aspect of turning inward. Another is connecting the tribe one last time. To have an affirming moment of recalling not what we did here but who we were here. Click To Tweet
Our Critical Review
Well, in order to make this work, all people involved in the process must pull together and keep plugging away until everything is done.
It’s needless to say that not one single book out there resembles this one, and that’s the main thrust of Priya’s message.
In addition, we believe that the book is amazing and insightful.