The Defining Decade Summary
4 min read ⌚
Why Your 20s Matter – and How to Make the Most of Them Now
The 30s are the new 20s. So say everybody. Unfortunately, that’s neither your body nor your brain have heard the news so far. So, Meg Jay is here to update you – or better remind you – which one exactly is “The Defining Decade.”
About Meg Jay
Meg Jay is a clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and Gender Studies from the University of California, Berkley. and years of experience. She has written two books: “Supernormal” and “The Defining Decade.” The TED Talk on which the latter book is based on has been viewed by almost 10 million people.
Find out more at https://megjay.com.
“The Defining Decade PDF Summary”
“Thirty is the new twenty” is a good philosophy if you want to live out the second adolescence during your twenties. However, it’s also a great way to mess up your life.
At least that’s what Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist, says in “The Defining Decade.” And, according to her, science has her back.
So, if you are in your twenties, read ahead and make the most of the decade you’re currently living; however, if they are well behind you – we can’t guarantee you that reading this summary won’t result in few regrets and some nostalgia.
First on the agenda: jobs.
Let’s be realistic: twentysomethings are unlikely to have anything even remotely similar to the job of their dreams. However, Meg Jay warns, if you’re in your 20s and working as a waiter, you’re just wasting your time.
Your 20s are not just about earning money; they are also about earning experience. So, pick some unusual job, like canoe instructor or comic book translator. Your future bosses will adore that unique aspect of your character!
Of course, even so, try to choose a job from where you can take out at least something to advance your future career. Because, every serious career starts way before making your first step on the corporate ladder!
And, most of all, it starts with the people you know!
Spending time with your inner circle during your twenties is great; but, it’s even better to go out of your way to win some new friends. Because, later on in life, they may be able to make your life easier.
Speaking of relationships – it’s time to talk about marriage.
There are more twentysomethings married in the US than in any other place in the world. In fact, 1 in 2 Americans marry before they reach 30, and 3 in 4 are married before they’re 35. Of course, there’s nothing wrong in it. In fact, postponing marriage may be even worse!
However – don’t forget: you’re bound to remain with this person for the rest of your life.
So, it’s good if you take some advice. Just like you do when you’re looking for a job. It’s just too important decision to make it on your own.
And as far children are concerned, your body has already made that decision in your stead. After 30, the quality of the female’s eggs decreases and pregnancy is becoming a riskier endeavor. Both biologically – and psychologically.
So, if you want to have children – don’t put it off.
Do yourself a favor and become a twentysomething parent!
Key Lessons from “The Defining Decade”
1. Start Your Career in Your 20s
2. Practice the “Benjamin Franklin Effect”
3. Being a Married Parent Before You’re 30 is a Good Thing
Start Your Career in Your 20s
No matter what everybody says, your thirties are not the new twenties. It’s much more difficult and complicated to start building your career at a later age.
Of course, you’ll not be able to find the job of your dreams right off the bat. Even so, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work at all or work something random. Find something great and unique – which can help you develop the right skill-set for later!
Practice the Benjamin Franklin Effect
Usually, twentysomethings have a small inner circle of friends they wouldn’t leave for the world! That, according to Meg Jay, is a big mistake. Because the ordinary people you’ll meet in your twenties will become the decision-makers in your 40s.
Benjamin Franklin knew this. So, he asked to borrow a book from a would-be legislator in the late 1700s. Afterward, he returned the book with a note of gratitude.
And you know how the story goes – because, by now, you should already know the law of reciprocity by heart.
Being a Married Parent Before You’re 30 Is a Good Thing
Marriage and children are for older, more serious people, right?
Well, neither your body nor your brain says so! Just as many people who get married in their twenties get a divorce later in life – as people married in their thirties.
The problem is that people who are married later in life, have to have children fast (because it’s biologically impossible for them to wait).
And that is bound to put a lot of pressure on them. Marrying earlier takes that pressure off of their shoulders. But, it puts a different kind of pressure: choosing wisely.
Fortunately, there’s an algorithm you can use for that!
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“The Defining Decade Quotes”Forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital… Do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next. Click To Tweet Twentysomethings who don't feel anxious and incompetent at work are usually overconfident or underemployed. Click To Tweet For the most part, ‘naturals’ are myths. People who are especially good at something may have some innate inclination, or some particular talent, but they have also spent about ten thousand hours practicing or doing that thing. Click To Tweet It’s the people we hardly know, and not our closest friends, who will improve our lives most dramatically. Click To Tweet I wasn't scared of losing my past. i was scared of losing my future. Click To Tweet
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