Happier at Home Summary

Happier at Home SummaryKiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson, and My Other Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life

Do you feel happy? If not, you probably think that you’re pretty far from feeling even an ounce of happiness.

Well, Gretchen Rubin says that you’re wrong. Because all you need is some small changes and no more than nine months to be “Happier at Home.”

Who Should Read “Happier at Home”? And Why?

There are two types of people: those who like adventures, and those who want peace. “Happier at Home” is for the latter: it claims that you don’t really need anything more than a nicely organized home and a loving family to be happy.

By the end of this book, even the adventurers may concur.

About Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is an American author and blogger, usually writing about the three h-s of happiness: human nature, home, and habits. And she writes with a lot of humor.

Her books have sold more than 3 million copies, and her personal website – https://gretchenrubin.com/ – has more than 700,000 subscribers and is one of the most popular of its kind.

She is the author of many books, among them “The Four Tendencies,” “The Happiness Project,” and “Better Than Before.”

“Happier at Home Summary”

By now, we’ve featured Gretchen Rubin quite about enough times so that you can remember her as the author of few books whose subtitles are longer than some of Hemingway’s short stories.

This one’s no exception: “Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson, and My Other Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life.”

OK. Now, do I really need to read the book? Or is this everything I need to do so as to be, as its title states, “happier at home”?

Of course you should – and of course it isn’t. But, it gives you a glimpse of what the book is all about. Namely, the small stuff. You know, the stuff which makes life world living.

Because that’s what the happier-at-home project is most interested in. It’s a nine-month program which, by the end of it, should make you feel happy about yourself, your home, and your everyday routines.

But, let’s not get carried away – if your home was as it was supposed to be, you wouldn’t need a nine-month project. So, before starting with it, let’s make a list of what is good and what is bad about it.

In other words, ask yourself four fundamental questions:

1. What makes you feel good when you are at home?
2. What makes you feel bad when you are at home?
3. What do you need to do in order to feel more as in 1 than as in 2?
4. What do you need to do in order to continually grow even though staying at home?

Now that you know where you’re heading, it’s time for the essential spring-cleaning exercise. “A messy room equals a messy mind,” Marie Kondo wrote in “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” And Gretchen Rubin did the experiment to find out it is true.

Decluttering your home from the stuff you don’t need will result in freeing your home for the stuff which makes you feel happy and satisfied. And the bonus is – that the same happens in your mind as well.

Now, you’re ready to fill it with the stuff that really matters: your family.

You see, Gandhi’s idea that you need to be the change you want to see in the world matters nowhere as definitely as in your house. You want to have an affectionate and caring partner who will rarely get stressed and nervous? Then – be one yourself. Until you inspire him or her to become one.

Because, you see, in families, people learn from each other. If you give up smoking, there are 67 percent chance that your partner will too. That means about 7 in 10 couples!

Now, if that doesn’t motivate you to become nicer and more thoughtful – nothing will!

Of course, being happy is related by definition to protecting yourself from unhappiness. Which, in other words, means at least three things.

First of all, avoiding unhappy people who drain your energy. Secondly, using different stimuli in the present to bring back past memories to get you up when you are down. And finally, resisting temptations which, turn you into an instant gratification monkey, i.e., someone who sacrifices his future more permanent happiness for a brief moment of satisfaction in the present.

Key Lessons from “Happier at Home”

1.      Declutter Your House, Declutter Your Mind
2.      Avoid the Unhappiness Leeches
3.      Remember the Pareto Principle – and Act Accordingly

Declutter Your House, Declutter Your Mind

Your brain is a mighty organ. So powerful, in fact, that it’s almost impossible to control it. In other words, it notices things at least few hundred milliseconds before you (yes, that’s quite about right). Free will? Nah – it may be just an illusion.

Anyway, if your brain is capable of noticing things all around you and react accordingly, you may help him at least at the place where you spend most of your day, i.e., your home.

Declutter it!

If there are some things which remind you of chaos or unfinished business – throw them away. Get some headspace. And fill your room – and your brain – with the things that matter the most.

Avoid the Unhappiness Leeches

Now, as hard as you try, there’s a high chance that all your effort will go down the drain the very minute you meet a person who seems immune to your cheerfulness and, in fact, tries to infect you with his dark energy.

There are three types of these unhappiness leeches, says Gretchen Rubin. The first kind is the slackers who feign helplessness in order to get your attention. The second ones are the gossipers who have no lives of their own, so they try to make laugh of the ones who do. And the third kind is the grouches, the needy and the pessimistic folks who counter your joy at seeing a rainbow with a “Meh, it’s just a natural phenomenon…”

Do we need to say more?

It’s pointless to spend time with people who make you unhappy.

Just avoid them.

Remember the Pareto Principle – and Act Accordingly

A positive attitude is the right attitude – no matter what the initial stimulus is. So says Dalai Lama. So says Gretchen Rubin as well. Because only 20 percent of your happiness is the result of the things which happen to you. The other 80 are decided by your reactions.

For example, once Rubin’s daughter spilled some nail polish on the floor. Gretchen could have raged all day about it – but that wouldn’t have changed anything. So, she just asked her nicely to quickly research the best ways they can deal with the stain. In the end, Gretchen’s daughter found a solution.

The results?

No stain, no anger, no remorse.

And a newly acquired skill. (Which, by the way, we should learn too).

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“Happier at Home” Quotes

I am living my real life, this is it. Now is now, and if I waited to be happier, waited to have fun, waited to do the things that I know I ought to do, I might never get the chance. Click To Tweet It's so easy to wish that we'd made an effort in the past, so that we'd happily be enjoying the benefit now, but when now is the time when that effort must be made, as it always is, that prospect is much less inviting. Click To Tweet While some more passive forms of leisure, such as watching TV or surfing the Internet, are fun in the short term, over time, they don't offer nearly the same happiness as more challenging activities. Click To Tweet I'm not tempted by things I've decided are off-limits, but once I've started something, I have trouble stopping. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control. Click To Tweet As I turned the key and pushed open the front door, as I crossed the threshold, I thought how breathtaking, how fleeting, how precious was my ordinary day Now is now. Here is my treasure. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

There are few things you can never get enough of. Happiness is certainly on the top of this list. And, consequently, books which help you be happier as well.

“Happier at Home” is one such book. It may not be the best one – but it is both wittily written and applicable. So – you can’t ask much more, can you?

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The Four Tendencies Summary

The Four Tendencies SummaryThe Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too)

People fit in one of “The Four Tendencies”. Which one are you?

About Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen RubinGretchen Rubin is a bestselling author that has helped millions of people around the world to get a better understanding of themselves and create happier lives.

“The Four Tendencies Summary”

How do you react to expectations?

We know that might seem like a question that does not bring much insight, but if we dive deep enough into its nature, we can gain tremendous knowledge.

Exploring your responses to expectations will not only give you a more in-depth look at your own character but will also increase your understanding of the people that surround you.

In reality, there are four tendencies that people have when it comes to responding to expectations. They are connected to the way people react to external expectations, which are set from our society, and to our inner expectations which we create ourselves.

According to the tendency which is the most visible in people’s behaviour, they feet the following categories: upholders, questioners, obligers and rebels.

Understanding these categories and the tendencies can help us tremendously in our relationship with others, as well as with our own productivity and efficiency.

Let’s begin with the Upholders.

Upholders succeed meeting both types of expectations: the inner and the outer ones.

At first glance, this may seem like the ideal category to belong in, since they respond well to both kinds of expectations and as a result are very productive and reliable.

However, the upholder tendency comes with its challenges.

Since upholders love following rules, at times they may do so blindly, and end up following directions which are harmful and wrong. Also, they are very difficult when it comes to embracing change.

The second type of people is the Questioners, who are people who successfully meet inner expectations but struggle with outer expectations.

The questioners will not follow orders just because they came from a boss or just because something has always been done a certain way.

They will ask questions and seek for the reasons behind each action.

Yes, their sceptical nature is exhausting to deal with, but their value is immeasurable: they are the people who notice ways a procedure or a product can be improved.

Next, there are the Obligers, who struggle with their own expectations, but deal well with external ones.

Most people belong to this group, and they are a pillar of society.

Their main problem is respecting themselves in the way they appreciate everyone else.

The final tendency is the Rebels who handle well neither outer nor inner expectations.

They want everything they do to be a reflection of who they are and value individuality.

The extremeness of their notions makes them the smallest group among the four.

You have to understand that people who belong in each category have a hard time understanding why the rest of the world is not like them.

Key Lessons from “The Four Tendencies”

1.      How Understanding the Four Tendencies Can Benefit People
2.      The Key to Happiness
3.      Working With Tendencies

How Understanding the Four Tendencies Can Benefit People

When people understand these four categories, they will comprehend human nature more deeply and know the reasons for certain reactions.

Knowing where they stand, they can start improving their life.

The Key to Happiness

The key to happiness is simple: know yourself.

Your strengths and weaknesses make up your personality or your tendency. Accept that you are not perfect – nobody is, and start focusing on your strengths and improving your overall experiences.

Working With Tendencies

Every group of people requires a different approach.

For example, you cannot give rebels directions and boss them around, since you will only make them want to rebel. Instead, you should give them choices and consequences.

To cope with obligers, you need to create accountability by turning their internal expectations into external ones, et cetera.

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“The Four Tendencies” Quotes

The happiest, healthiest, most productive people aren’t those from a particular Tendency, but rather they’re the people who have figured out how to harness the strengths of their Tendency, counteract the weaknesses, and build the lives… Click To Tweet This self-knowledge is crucial because we can build a happy life only on the foundation of our own nature, our own interests, and our own values. Click To Tweet Finally, I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. —Journal of Thomas Merton Click To Tweet

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Top Inspiring Books

Unfortunately, we’ve all been there. 

Suddenly, something happens, and out of nowhere, our perfect little lives start to crumble. Or – maybe, even worse – even though the thing that happens isn’t too earthshattering at first glance, it opens up our eyes to the unfulfilled life we’ve led up to that moment.

And at moments like that, we need some inspiration. To take back things from our loss or reimagine ourselves in more happier versions of us.

Here are 15 of the best inspirational books which can certainly work as your guides on your personal journey to fulfillment. Embark on it as soon as possible.

And stay inspired.

#1. “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho

The Alchemist Summary“The Alchemist” was published in 1988. Three decades later, it’s still widely read and widely beloved.

An international bestseller, the book has been translated into almost half of the world languages, and it has made Brazilian author Paulo Coelho a global superstar.

A profound and poignant narrative, “The Alchemist” is an inspiring novella which tells the story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy. Santiago believes that he has dreamt a dream of significance; a dream which should help him find a big treasure somewhere around the Egyptian pyramids.

And, indeed, the dream turns out to be prophetic. But not in the way Santiago expects it to be. Nor in the way, you, the spellbound reader, would be able to anticipate at the beginning.

Let’s just say, for the time being, that the greatest treasures, though immaterial, are much weightier than all the gold and money in the world.

#2. “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch

The Last Lecture SummaryIn September 2007, Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was invited to take participation in “The Last Lecture” series of talks. Little did the organizers know that, in the case of Pausch, the series’ title was not merely a metaphor.

Namely, just one month before that, Pausch was given a terminal diagnosis. And he knew that he had no more than half a year left on this planet.

Now, you’d expect a beautiful and touching lecture from such a person. But, you wouldn’t expect an optimistic, upbeat one-hour talk labeled “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams,” and viewed by 20 million people on YouTube.

“The Last Lecture” is the book version of this talk. It’s longer and even more fascinating. So much so, in fact, that it has become part of many school curricula.

And for many good reasons.

#3. “Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!” by Tony Robbins

Tony RobbinsAwaken the Giant Within Summary is a name which has grown to be synonymous with “motivational speaker.” Watch any of his videos on YouTube, and you’ll see why! Sometimes, one wonders if he’s right in what he’s saying or is he merely so convincing that the things come true afterward.

Either way, he does his job well enough that many people see him as something of a personal guru and guide. And with religious devotion, might we add.

“Awaken the Giant Within” is an enormous book, both in terms of its influence and in terms of its sheer length. It’s almost 600 pages – so there’s a lot to take away from it!

If it was a novel, the subtitle would have been a spoiler. Because, “Awaken the Giant Within” is a step-by-step program of self-mastery, aiming to teach you the whys, and the hows of your life.

And, of course, the how-tos of making it better.

#4. “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” by Richard Bach

Jonathan Livingston Seagull Summary“Jonathan Livingston Seagull” was published in 1970 to rave reviews from the general public. Just like its main character, the book quickly soared to the top of “The New York Times Bestseller” list, and it remained there for the next 38 weeks.

And even half a century later, it is still lovingly cherished and highly ranked.

Originally a three-part novella (Richard Bach added a fourth part in the 2013 edition), “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” tells the story of the seagull from the title. A non-conformist, he ignores his daily duties and passionately tries to learn to fly. As a result, he is banished from his community, but he is unwavering in his determination to be the best flier there ever was.

Soon, the tables turn, and Jonathan Livingston Seagull learns that he was “a one-in-a-million bird” from the very beginning.

You may be too. And this book may show you why.

#5. “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne

The Secret SummaryWhen Rhonda Byrne’s father died in 2004, depression took over her life. She wasn’t able to do her job as an executive producer for Australian television the same way as before. She wasn’t even capable of functioning properly in her day to day activities. Her life, as she says, collapsed around her.

And that’s when she started reading. Soon enough, she discovered “The Secret.”

Even though the reception of the book may suggest some groundbreaking findings, Rhonda Byrne claims that she, in fact, isn’t saying anything new. She’s merely demonstrating how the secret is something every great person from history knew and employed in his or her life. Plato, Shakespeare, Newton, Beethoven, Edison, Einstein – practically anyone you can think of!

Of course, Rhonda Byrne doesn’t stop there. She makes the secret much simpler and explains how you can use it, whether you want to earn more money, be in a better relationship or live a healthier life.

You want to learn the secret? Read the book!

#6. “Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Great Lessons” by Mitch Albom

Tuesdays with Morrie SummaryIn 1995, Mitch Albom was a popular sports columnist for the “Detroit Free Press,” when a friend of his told him about Morrie Schwartz’s then-recent interview on ABC News’ “Nightline.” He watched the interview. And he was devastated.

You see, Morrie Schwartz, a sociology professor at Brandeis University, was Albom’s most beloved college teacher. Unfortunately, Albom stopped keeping in touch about a decade and a half before the TV interview. And what did he learn from it?

That Schwartz was suffering from ALS, a terminal disease, the one Stephen Hawking is suffering as well. So, he decided to reconnect with his old teacher. And, soon enough, he started visiting him every Tuesday, for discussions about life and death.

You know – for the last lectures.

Word of mouth made “Tuesdays with Morrie” – published after Schwartz’s death – a global phenomenon. It became one of the top selling memoirs ever and was translated into 45 languages.

And, finally, Oprah Winfrey produced a movie which won four Emmys in 1999!

#7. “The Fault in Our Stars” by John Green

The Fault in Our Stars SummaryThere’s something about near-death experiences that makes life worth living. And there’s something about other people’s stories concerning the lessons they took out from it that can inspire us to live better and more fulfilled lives.

And John Green, unfortunately, heard many of them. In fact, that’s what inspired him to become an author. He originally wanted to become a priest, but while working in a hospital with children suffering from life-threatening diseases, he decided that there’s another way he wanted to reach people.

And that’s what his beloved sixth novel, “The Fault in Our Stars,” did – both as a book and, later, as an award-winning film. The story is about two teenagers afflicted with terminal diseases, meeting and falling in love while attending a support group.

But, it’s also so much more! It’s a book about triumphing over the pain and the suffering, a tear-jerker about courage and the ultimate heartbreaks. Utterly beautiful.

#8. “The Little Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The Little Prince SummaryIf you thought it’s astonishing that the first book on our list has been so far translated into half of the world languages, you’ll probably never believe us if we told you that this little classic is translated in practically all of them!

Selling about 2 million copies each year, “The Little Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is probably the 4th best-selling book ever written. And it was voted the best 20th-century book in the French language!

A poetic novella, “The Little Prince,” is a children’s book about adults. It tells the story of a pilot stranded in the desert who meet the eponymous prince, a visitor from a tiny asteroid. And through him, he learns of the absurdities of our ways.

And how beautiful life can be even if its whole point is cultivating a rare rose.

#9. “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson

Who Moved My Cheese SummaryNowadays, it’s quite difficult to understand the impact “Who Moved My Cheese” – a 32-page scantily illustrated motivational fable – had on the business world when it first appeared two decades ago.

Spending almost a year on “Publishers Weekly’s” bestseller list, it managed to sell almost 30 million copies worldwide, and earn numerous accolades, before being turned into a cartoon and becoming the subject of many parodies.

It tells the story of four characters, two mice (Sniff and Scurry) and two little people (Hem and Haw). They all live in a maze and are in a constant pursuit for cheese. However, they have a different way of finding it, and, moreover, keeping it once they do locate it.

Halfway down the story, the reader realizes that the mice will be fine. And that it’s the people who have to be a bit more organized and less afraid.

And that’s where “the writings on the wall” come in handy.

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#10. “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran

The Prophet SummaryOne of the most beloved modern poets, Kahlil Gibran, was born in Bsharri, then the Ottoman Empire, modern-day Lebanon. His family emigrated to the United States when he was young. It was there that he started learning art and literature. And it was there that he became the originator of the inspirational fiction genre.

Written in English, “The Prophet,” a small volume consisting of 26 prose poems, was originally published in 1923 and has never been out of print. Its style and philosophical depth have made it a perennial favorite and a popular gift.

The frame narrative of “The Prophet” is fairly simple. Almustafa, the prophet from the title, is stopped by a group of people before boarding a ship which should carry him home. The people ask him questions, and Almustafa’s answers are the 26 prose poems we mentioned.

The topics covered are as many, and range from love and marriage to freedom and time, to religion and death. And you’ll know more about each of them.

#11. “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny” by Robin Sharma

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari SummaryJust like many of the motivational writers you’ve grown to love, Robin Sharma worked an ordinary job (a litigation lawyer), before deciding that he’s much more interested in techniques for self-perfection.

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” isn’t his first book (it’s his second), but it is the one which retells his personal story in a most inspiring manner. The book is a motivational business fable and is basically a conversation between two friends, Julian and John.

The former (a fictional version of Sharma himself) was a successful trial lawyer, before experiencing a heart attack while arguing his case in court. Fortunately, as he explains, this heart attack would turn out to be one of the best things that could have happened to him.

Because it would initiate a spiritual journey that would enable him to finally live a life of passion and purpose.

#12. “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” by Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements SummaryIn Don Miguel Ruiz, we have once again a man utterly transformed by a near-death experience. And once again, a writer whose lessons will subsequently transform you because of it.

Already a successful surgeon, Ruiz decided to become a shaman’s apprentice after barely surviving a serious car accident. Afterward, he spent few years exploring the Toltec wisdom and mind-elevating techniques.

His debut book, “The Four Agreements” is the best introduction to what he ultimately learned.

Advocating absolute freedom and living-in-the-moment mentality, “The Four Agreements” explores a fourfold code: “be impeccable with your word,” “don’t take anything personally,” “don’t make assumptions,” and “always do your best.”

A decade later, Ruiz will team up with his son to add a 5th agreement: “be skeptical, but learn to listen.” And that’s another fairly inspirational book.

#13. “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are” by Brené Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection SummaryA research professor at the University of Houston, Brené Brown made a name for herself when in June 2010 she gave a talk at TED Houston, titled “The Power of Vulnerability.” Still one of the most viewed TED talks in history, it would form the basis of her next book, “Daring Greatly,” already featured in our top 15 self-help book list.

And, really, both there and here, we could have included almost any of Brown’s eight books, and we wouldn’t have made a mistake. They are all inspirational, down-to-earth, caring, and hopeful.

“The Gifts of Imperfection” maybe most of all. Featuring ten guideposts to tackle the pressure each of one faces on a daily basis, the book aims to help everybody by teaching him or her that he/she doesn’t need to be anything else than he/she already is – just to please people.

Because with courage, compassion, and connection – he/she can be happy in the face of every obstacle.

#14. “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert

Eat Pray Love SummaryWe’ve already written about Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Big Magic.” However, here we’ve opted for her debut memoir, “Eat Pray Love;” not because of its status, but much more because of the way it has affected many people we know.

And because, well, not many books have been featured on two episodes of “The Oprah Winfrey Show”!

An autobiographical account, “Eat Pray Love” follows the eye-opening spiritual odyssey of a 31-year-old Elizabeth Gilbert. Trapped in an unhappy marriage, she decides to embark on a year-long journey around the world to gain some perspective.

And she gets – in three chapters! First, she eats and enjoys life in Italy for a period of four months; then, she spends three months praying in India; finally, she falls in love with a Brazilian businessman in Bali.

The book has it all. And you can also watch its 2010 movie adaptation. It received lukewarm reviews, but, then again, Julia Roberts is in it!

#15. “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy” by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

Option B SummaryTwo weeks after her beloved husband, David Goldberg, suddenly died, Sheryl Sandberg faced the unbearable task of having to prepare her child for a father/child activity. “I want Dave,” she cried. Her friend Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, replied with some very wise words: “Option A is not available.”

The only thing Sheryl Sandberg – Facebook’s COO and the author of “Lean In,” a book we’ve featured in our top leadership books list – was left with was trying to make the best out of Option B: living without her husband.

And that certainly wasn’t an easy task. She was, as she writes herself, in a void, “a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe.”

And “Option B” is a book about everyone who feels that he’s not really living the life he’s supposed to be. Especially, if due to some life-shattering loss.

It’s a sort of “manual for resilience.” And it may just help you regain some joy and faith.

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8 books for a happier (and healthier) life

8 books for happy & healthy life

Ever told yourself that tomorrow you’ll make a change, do something that will make you happier? But then tomorrow comes and you don’t think you’ve got the time, so again you promise yourself you’ll do it “tomorrow”. Maybe you’re scared of making a change, or you don’t know how to go about it.

Luckily for us plenty of people went through the same struggles and wrote about them, sharing their stories. And now we’ve put together our favorite books on the subject of making your life happier and healthier.

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10 must-read personal development books

 

personal development

Want to better your life? Whether you’re looking to develop a talent, learn the art of public speaking, improve your productivity or conquer your fears, these are the best books on the subject. We’ve picked the ones that truly changed the way we think and act, and we know they’ll do the same for you.

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Better than Before PDF Summary

What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits – to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

Only if the foundation upon which your habits are built aligned with your lifestyle, with who you are. We all fall into the trap of “tomorrow” – a bubble where everything will be right with the world. Well, it never is.

One of the rules of starting and maintaining a habit is that you need to commit. No matter what happens in your life, if you have the willpower of making the decision to change something then you stick with it until it becomes as instinctive as breathing.

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