5 min read ⌚
The Art of Getting What You Want
There is no way to get everything you want.
Or is there one?
Today, we are answering this question, so read on.
Who Should Read “Persuasion”? And Why?
You have heard and read many things on the topic of persuasion, mainly thought by business experts, but Dave Lakhani comes from a different place.
His mother and himself were part of a strict religious cult, which he left when he was 16. This experience made him research persuasion since he wanted to understand the techniques that lured and kept his mother in the cult.
About Dave Lakhani
Dave Lakhani is the president of Bold Approach, Inc., a business acceleration consultancy. He is a popular speaker on persuasion, inﬂuence, sales, and marketing. He wrote A Fighting Chance.
Persuasion is used all the time, in all situations. It is a technique people developed to survive.
In an ideal scenario, persuasion will result in a good outcome for all parties.
Be careful not to confuse it with manipulation, since real persuasion does not use deceptive techniques. Manipulators are selfish, and all of their actions are fueled by their self-interest. Persuaders, on the other hand, have another goal – creating a beneficial situation for all involved parties.
What are the attributes that skilled persuaders have in common?
Studies show that appearance, voice, and demeanor have a massive impact on how people perceive others.
Good persuaders must look good: dress well, be in excellent physical shape, have good manners. Voice and tone have a significant impact as well. Good persuaders skillfully use pauses, intonation, volumes, body language, eye contact, and clean “um”-less talk.
If you want to become a good persuader, also mind who you surround yourself with. A good network of friends paints the picture of you.
You have heard the saying “You are who you are with.” In other words, people will endorse you based on who they see you with.
Use this knowledge and create a group of friends who will increase your credibility and integrity.
Being well-connected is everything.
Another thing you have to learn is creating well rounded, engaging stories.
We all experience life through stories, so learning how to shape stories around the points you want to send across is crucial.
Good stories will lead your listeners to the exact conclusion you wanted them to get.
But what is a good story?
It is a story that consists of all elements that can help people to find solutions to their issues. Think of these elements as building blocks.
One of the most critical elements you must not overlook is adding an emotional side. The story needs to induce the feeling of accuracy, and spark up some kind of emotion in your listeners.
When you are in sales, you have to have a story in your mind at all times.
Of course, good storytelling, just like any other craft, comes with long hours of practice.
Once you have had enough practice and gained enough knowledge, you will become an authority in your field. The steps of becoming an expert are as following:
- Establish an area of expertise
- Study hard
- Develop a perspective
- Express your beliefs
- Write a book or record a CD
Now, before you can start your journey, you need to understand how people think and function.
People’s reactions to the experiences and events in their lives are fueled by their existing belief systems.
We create belief systems to simplify our existence and organize our worlds.
What does this have to do with persuasion?
Well, to be a good persuader, you have to know how to “read” people, and find out what their current belief systems are. After you do that, you can structure your story in a way that comes close to those beliefs, and as a result, people will more readily resonate with you.
When these two belief systems (the one you offer and the one the listener has) overlap, your audience will slowly incorporate your beliefs into their own.
Of course, there are situations when a change has to happen to both the persuader and the audience.
The process is different for each situation. The speed with which the listeners will adopt new ideas and beliefs depend on many things, including their own frustration.
You can reinforce beliefs by memory, repetition, and authority.
Lastly, we finish the summary section by giving you seven quick persuaders which you can use anytime you need to.
- Find out which beliefs of your audience are the closest to what you are presenting.
- Determine if the beliefs they have created a feeling of frustration.
- Inform them of your solution, and cite proof.
- If they show skepticism, ask them temporarily to consider your proposal.
- Once they do, present evidence for the truth of your position.
- Give the audience product samples, reviews, and testimonials.
- If they accept your position and change their belief, reward them by making them feel special.
Key Lessons from “Persuasion”
1. Six Tenets of Persuasion
2. “The Persuasion Equation”
3. Techniques to Accelerate the Process of Getting People’s Agreement
Six Tenets of Persuasion
- Have an objective in mind and lead your audience to it.
- Prioritize your customers’ best interests.
- Make only legitimate claims in your presentations.
- Have a deadline in mind, as well as a goal.
- Become familiar with the people you are trying to inﬂuence.
- Be ethical and follow professional standards.
“The Persuasion Equation”
Techniques to Accelerate the Process of Getting People’s Agreement
- “Social matching.”
- “Giving to receive.”
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Our Critical Review
Dave Lakhani does not tell you what persuasion is and how you can win using it – instead he focuses on the potential misuse of this great power and paves the path toward its more ethical application.
“Persuasion” is a compelling and fresh approach to a much talked about topic.